Depression Dementia Dad

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Owlunar .... ^^^^

[Owlunar]

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope

Hi @Former-Member

I have had a few days to myself to catch up with weeks of not doing anything chore-wise - and how fast the days do fly - and after weeks of needing it I got my hair-cut

I know you have a really hard time speaking your mind - I guess you are aware of your own thoughts and I understand this one - personally I hate having to explain to people that I intend do this or that - no - this is the coffee I want to buy - this brand and this size - walking around the supermarket can be an exercise in self-control at time so.............

I hear you - people are trying to tell you what to do about your Dad and your house and hey - do you have to make up your mind on a permanent basis yet?I don't think so - and I know you hate confrontations - personally I can be confronting but prefer not to - but I understand - you are a sweet and gentle person just getting by and with your past you are uncertain of your future

About your neighbour sorting out your stuff at home - did she send you an invoice? I don't quite understand that bit but I think she is pissed at caring for your place - apart from watering the plants is she really doing anything so painful - so she doesn't want to hear about your sibs I think - well - I don't mind hearing and I am sure other people here don't mind either - you have to vent somewhere and this is the place

So about your house -  I hear that it's a dark and lonely place for you - and with your Dad you have a purpose and it's tiring but you are not alone - some of your brothers are pains in the rear-end and I am sorry about that - btw - the last time I saw my bro was at my mother's funeral and he was drunk afterwards and I snarled at him and told him to watch his mouth in front of my family - and he snarled back and I guess I am the only person prepared to snarl at him but "nice" on our way back from our mother's funeral - 

I do hear you Lapses

About the nightmare - I am sure there is a deep reason for it - I can get into dream interpretation - not sure about this one but it would be devastating to have such a nightmare - it's also normal to have nightmares with so much family shit - thinking of you though

Make your own plans Lapses - no one else needs to do that for you - they are only serving themselves when forcing you do think about this or that before you are ready - maybe you will never go back to that house and its memories

The old house I used to own is only a couple of blocks away from where I live now and I hate going past there - of course it was sold over quarter of a century ago and I have nothing to do with that place now but now and then someone will drive me past it - a taxi driver perhaps - and I will not look at it so I have an idea that your house is a real problem right now - and not one you want to deal with right now - I get it - 

I am listening - if you want to let it all out - I can take it - sell your place - if you want to - move to your own place near your Dad or stay where you are. If you are waking up each morning making up your mind to stay or not then you will know when to make a firm decision but it is up to you - no one else - except maybe your Dad

And just maybe this is the Good Old Days that you will look back on as the best time in your life - you never know - 

Sending lots of hugs

Dec

[Former-Member]

Oh no @Owlunar, things are grim if this is as good as its ever gonna be again, yikes!!! LOL Na, no problemo.
Its really good to see you and thanks for poppying in. Thought i'd see u on the Winter Blues thread. WB really kicking in for me now. And Hard to relax with toxic sibz hovering in the background making trouble, and believe me i could 'relax' right into a coma 😩 So tired.
My visiting critic / chch friend / garden keeper (up Nth) seems to have settled. Sent me tx today as if nothing happend stating she'll do watering weeky 'till end June and she "doesn't want thanks, or money..." 😞 So difficult. I have two alternative gardenkeepers in the pipeline to help me there. Annoying.  She doesn't think i'm taking my responsibilities seriously. The house has been on the market,  with some viewings, but no concrete offers.  Hmm,  gotta go do dunner 

You taje care ❤

[Shaz51]

Hugs @Former-Member, @Owlunar 

[Former-Member]

Thinking i might have to get one of those alarms when dad gets up into livibg area through the night. He beat me out of bed, made a couple of hot drinks that smelt luke coffee but looked like milky pepper water. He said he couldnt find the right equipment (even though i've left it all out on display (for those rare times he tries). I found the white sugar out with tbl spoon iin it (hes diabetic) and made up two fesh drinks. BUT mine was so sweet i couldn't stand it. Thinking dad must of put sugar in the kettle, i emptied it and shock horror - out came a pealed..

[Former-Member]

Keeping us in suspense @Former-Member as to what was in the kettle ... 😀

Hope you managed to get some sleep.

There is a specific dementia support that is available and may be of help - they have a 24 hour support line 1800 699 799

https://www.dementia.com.au/services/overview

[Former-Member]

Haha @Former-Member, thought i finished that. I found a peeled banana in the kettle. Obviously boiled my 'fresh' water with it grr. Thats what made my tea so sweet 😕 Dad's doing more & more of these odd things. Sad. But its concerning he's mixing things up in the kitchen, gonna have to lock away chemicals etc
Had to shower him late this arvo 😞 so glad for gloves.

Thanks for the contact # and links. Often want to ring but don't know what to say, where to start, what i want from them. I think i got this really. Just having you guys to chat with helps ❤

Haven't heard from the guardianship division yet. Have some serious paperwork to catch up on. Wish i had my computer.

[Former-Member]

A see through kettle might be the way to go @Former-Member ...

Getting unsafe stuff locked away sounds very sensible.

You are doing a mighty job, not only having had the training to do thus but having the willingness to deal with the not so pleasant aspects of caring (as you say - thank the Lord for gloves).

I think the dementia service can help with things like respite as well as giving real life carer support.

Is there any update on the cat situation and how are the dogs?

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member, thanks for asking.
WithIhome servicest- they do the minimum tasks required - and i don't have energy to push. Even recently i finally managed to get dads osteo p... analgesia in his blister pack, giving him two blister for the nurse to pop in the morning (same card) but half forget, even with my not in red on top, with arrow. Some say they can't do anything wirhout office approval, others just do it. The rigamorol i had to go through to get the Dr to jump through pharmacy protocol for blister packs is simply rediculous. And now i have ain's and EN's messing up. Could of kept doing it myself i suppose 😖
Last year i rang the aervice for mum & dad to address their slack shower routine when dad got a swrious painful gum infection - his partial dentures were never removed to clean and became impacted & infected. They updated the care plan but guess what - within a few werks of being here (while mum was dying) i noticed no care staff were removing dentures, just handing him his toothbrush. Sometimes they'd ask if he has dentures and dad would say no, or be vague... 😒dementia HELLO! ). So, guess what, we can't get them out to clean again, must get him to the dentist again, eventually... start the mouth process all over again...

RESPITE: Veterans Home Care (VHC) is different to DVA funding 😕 And the current VHC contract only covers the the current 3.5hrs respite a week. To take a large block of in home respite i have to reapply 😞 Gotta organise that before July - i'm tired of the battle fitting in with all the different SERVICE SYSTEMS & complex unknown fallible protocols. Soool tired.

THE CAT came back from the pound trip (new/old owner), and yes, i'm feeding him 😔, just not sure of its owners, sometimes he's so ravenously hungry... Still gotta ring that number on his new collar... explain the situation... recommend food he loves here... One day 🐱

THE DOGS ARE GREAT! Need a bath 🙂

[Former-Member]

Been on forums having a laydown for 2hrs now. Times up!
Gotta do lunch etc
Back later.