I was married to a Narcissist for 7 years. He made me feel so alone and nothing I did was ever good enough. He would dismiss me when I tried to explain to him how he was making me feel and nothing. After 7 years I looked in the mirror and saw nothing but a mere empty vessel running on auto pilot and my sense of self was completely gone. I finally built up the courage to leave him and yes he played victim mentality and told people i was crazy and I cheated on him and the list goes on, if only people realised he was projecting apart of himself as me. It took me 8 years to rebuild myself and heal myself from the trauma he had created and I had many triggers because of it. Now I am almost healed and starting a new pathway to Peer Support Worker and I got my power back and I got my sense of self back and I know who I am and I had to learn to create healthy boundaries so people do disrespect me or abuse me and use me. I stopped being a people pleaser and NO is a perfectly accepted answer and I don't need to justify myself to people who try to make me feel bad for the good I'm doing for myself. Narcissistic abuse is the worst kind of abuse trust me when I say this, I'd rather of been hit as I would have the bruises to prove my abuse. Narcissistic abuse is a combination of psychological and emotional abuse. It takes along time to undo the psychological damage they have created in your mindset and re-wire yourself to have a positive mindset free from the programing of your abuser. There is light at the end of the tunnel you just got to push through and don't give in to responding with a reactive emotional to response to the abuser.
