Battles

[Dreamy]

@AuntGlow i just want it to be over already, its so frustrating that it hasn't even eased despite everything I've tried. 

I picked up a pencil and coloured in the tiny circle of the inside of one of the flowers and that's all i could do, colouring was the only thing I had that really soothed me before bed and I fear that I've lost that. How do I get it back? 

I can't even make any noise or cry, it's like that part of me has completely shut down. 

I actually just finished chatting to lifeline and whilst the chat itself was fine it just hasn't changed how I'm feeling. The person said to give it 15 minutes to see if I can distract myself but if not to reach back out to them. 

This has just brought up so many intense thoughts and feelings along with the urges, I've tried to distract myself from them, I've tried to sit with them for a long as I can but now I'm just at a point where I feel lost as to what to do. 

[AuntGlow]

@Dreamy I understand, lovely, it's a lot. 

That is a really great start! I think sometimes fear itself can be the block to our strategies working. Can you put a hand on your heart and say to yourself, 'You're safe with me.' This little self-affirmation can be really, really nurturing. (I did this today for myself)

Shutdown tells me you're trying your absolute best to manage some very big feelings... what happens if you curl up in a little ball under the covers and listen to the music playing?

It's so important that you can stay safe. I have to leave soon, but I will be back tomorrow. Can you keep yourself safe for the next hour @Dreamy? 💛

[Dreamy]

@AuntGlow I'll try but the self-affirmation has never worked for me. 

I'm not entirely sure, maybe I'll try doing that soon. 

I will do my best to, if not I know who to reach out to. I'm hoping it doesn't come to that but I also don't like the intensity and pressure that I'm feeling right now. 

I hope you have a good night and that I'll chat to you tomorrow ❤️.

[AuntGlow]

Please let me know how you go - you've got this. 

I look forward to chatting more tomorrow afternoon. @Dreamy 🌛✨

[Dreamy]

Thanks for your support @AuntGlow.

Night night ❤️

[Dreamy]

It's late at night and the darkness has crept in, the thoughts are relentless how do you not let them win? 

Flashbacks and panic attacks take over your body, is this real, am I safe, I just need somebody. 

Reaching out for support, I'm hurting can't you see. I just want someone to reach out and rescue me. 

But I sit here alone, consumed by it all. Will the daylight come around before I fall? 

[Dreamy]

Late night thoughts, struggling to sleep. Why does poetry find me this way? Its been years since I've written anything although things used to be light and not dark. But anyway there it is. 

[Ru-bee]

Hey @Dreamy what a beautiful way to express yourself. Do you find that poetry is a bit of an outlet for you when you're having these deep emotions?