Going public with my story of psychosis - addressing the stigma

[Beebianca1977]

I suffer from something called pseudo hallucinations. These are psychosis moments when I am very stressed. I see visually characters come into my life. Unfortunately they are horror characters because they are bought on by stress I have four chAracters. I call them characters becUse I know they are not real. I'm not schizophrenic although I know what these characters look like and most Importantly their presence is real so sometimes I feel they are grabbing me or staring at me which makes me run or jump. My first character appeared when I was in grade 6 when I started getting bullied. My parents did nothing about it. Did
Not take me to see a profeasional to seek help. They just thought I was making it up. THey would ask why I would always run down the hallway of the house. I always said because tbere is a man up there. I wasn't officially diagnosed until a few months ago. I am 39 now and have been suffering from this since grade 6. I also have borderline personality disorder. Bianca.

[BatGuano]

Thanks, Bee, for telling your experiences.

It sounds like some rough seas you've come through.

From my view, I see people going through hell.  Mostly I just guess about them but it explains a lot.

It took until I was past 40 for a therapist to suggest that I had depression.  I'm up to, umm, 2 or 3 diagnoses now.

If I can make half a dozen I'll win a free set of steak knives.

My family have not been helpful, probably they just didn't know what to do.  Not many people know, or want to know, about mental illness.

I hope you find support here, and feel valued.  Your MI is real and you deserve any help you can get.

Take care.

[Beebianca1977]

Thanks so much I have lived thru hell I can no longer work. I used to be a primary teacher but now deemed unfit to teach. I have to live a stress free life because of these characters I've completed 6 years of uni and now I'm on a disability pension. My life has just crashed. I can't handle things anymore

[Kate84]

@Beebianca1977,

That sounds so full-on and tough to live with - my heart goes out to you. I can imagine it's also challenging not being in a position to work. I hope you can get some good help and advice - this forum is a great place to start. Sending big hugs.

[soppykat]

Hi @Kate84 - it is great that you are writing an article about mental illness and stuff 🙂 I think more people need to be aware of what it is really like to be unwell in our way. I myself used to have a website and a book about my life and stuff..i took the book down because i am too afraid of people reading it. but anyways, be brave ok 🙂

[Kate84]

Thanks @soppykat, appreciate your response.