Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Im doing ok thank you kindly @Dimity 🤗💜

The administration of our systems is so frustratingly complex and yet so unworkable at times - Im so sorry to hear things havent gotten sorted before, and I also hope along with you that the details are organised for you so that everything works this time xx 

[KirSa_EnigmA]

Has anybody got experience with Interpersonal Social Rhythm Therapy for bipolar disorder? 

I'm looking for a practicioner - any recommendations? 

Thanks.

[BP1]

Hi I also joined today. I'm 51 and was diagnosed with BP1 at 47 this made so much sense when I looked back at my life and all the loss of relationships, family, friends and finances could be explained and now I can finally work on my self and my triggers with medication and a great psychologist. 

I find that when I meet a person with BP there is a familiar understanding of the struggles and believe it or not there are alot of positives with BP if you can learn how to use them. 

I'm so happy to have found this forum where we can connect with each other and hopefully help each other with all the extra pressures we experience with BP

Take care 

[BP1]

Hi sorry for the short reply. 

I agree that with my BP1 my depression hits hard after a manic episode and the longer the more regret and then depression kicks in. I've had BP1 for most of my life I'm now 51 but I wasn't diagnosed until I was 47. I find that things I can't control or change are to be left alone and time and soul suckers and I finally learnt how to look after me and better myself. Through my experiences in life with mental illness is that every one needs to try as much different types of treatments to see what works for them unfortunately that takes time. 

Take care

[tacocat]

Hi @BP1 

Welcome to the forums, and thanks for sharing. 

I'm glad to see that you found us, and we're happy you're here. No doubt we'll see you posting regularly, supporting others and finding the support you need amongst the community 🙂

[KirSa_EnigmA]

Does anyone else want to learn everything and save the world?  or is it just me. 😕

I was recently reading about bipolar and came across this description of mania: 

"Initially, he was tired all the time but soon his energy level “took off.” His friends described him as “crazy hyper,” and he was eventually hospitalized after breaking into a local library, allegedly to “learn everything in those books.” When admitted to the hospital, he was told he was having a manic episode.
 

This was so familiar to me. 

When I become interested in something, or take on a new job or project, I often push myself very hard and become tired, or on edge.  I invest everything.

After a few weeks or months of this, I get the sense I'm going to make a 'break through' or that I'm on the cutting edge of something profound.  

I have SO many tabs open, books, and notebooks out... comparing and analysing to 'learn everything in those books' like the example above. 

I've never broken into a library, but I do have strong memories of visiting a shelter of some kind late at night, and having the police called after taking a bunch of books off their shelf and skimming them frenetically for ideas/knowledge.

I'd been studying mostly independently for months - biology/chemistry and philosophy, and become overwhelmed with it all and had been drinking. (I'd also been learning the alphabet backwards and other orders [1,3,2,4], [1,4,2,3], etc, and solving rubiks cubes, while walking backwards on a balance beam - I called it 'multiple mind training). 😕  

I ran, of course... hid in the bushes while they looked for me.  

Not my finest moment... but holy hell... that was so similar to the experience in the description. 

I LIKE this stuff... except the drinking.  It frustrates me that this isn't normal.  I feel like the world is standing still. 😞 

I feel like this forum, psychiatry/psychology, and much of the world, is stagnant and oppressive. 

Isn't wanting to 'learn everything in those books' a GOOD thing? 

I don't want to lose the intensity and motivation to learn and grow.  Sure, the overwhelm and drinking aren't ideal... so some tempering of the approach is needed, but surely that's all, right?  

/rant

edit: 

Here are some other phrases that I've read recently that I can closely relate to: 

"I have a secret I can’t tell you, but it is so explosive it will expose the world for what it really is and I will be seen as the savior of us all."

"I was a man on a mission — a divine mission," Arsenault said. "I had to start a spiritual revolution to save the world."

"And unless people were with me on my quest to save the world, they were against me."

“I can save the world! No, I am a coward.”  <--- this one hits home especially hard :'(

"When depressed, all obstacles will destroy me." —Kafka

"When manic, I can destroy everything." — Balzac

"Bipolar people are powerful machines, sometimes they feel they can save the world with their energy, other times they fall deep into depression."

/edit