Life can be a Pain

[Owlunar]

Hi @utopia

I'm glad you feel less alone - I tend to say a lot in my posts - I never really how much until I am using my phone keeping in tough with what's happening when I am away from home or in bed - and yes - I say a lot

Never mind - that's me - and I know life can be a pest with parts of our bodies taking sick leave on their own when required really to do some of our work - eg - what fun it must be cleaning your teeth right now - even getting the lid off the toothpaste with your arms straight out has to be a story all on it's own and brushing your hair left-handed - yep - been there - I had to get my pony-tail cut off a few years ago and I have kept my silver hair short since then - and I remember how I nearly cried in the hair-dresser seeing my long hair on the floor - something I didn't notice until I put my glasses on - I had torn the tendons in my right shoulder then but at least I could bend my elbow

I get it that you feel I am in a worse place but we need not compare our position in the world of ubiquitous suffering and inconvenience - the load we carry is our own and I find I get used to whatever it is I have and after a time it becomes life - aw - I woke up feeling bleak after spending yesterday hardly doing anything but it's today now and time to sort my bothers out and attend to them - some of them

I care - I really do - life can be a pain in the tail but alas - it's the only one we have and I am hoping that it helps that people care

Lots of hugs and maybe a cockatoo with a bad wing if I can find one

Dec

Sorry Utopia - my computer is not behaving with it comes to getting clipart this morning so this is a "sorry wounded cockatoo pic not available message" from my computer

Lots of gentle hugs though

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

Don't worry about what you are saying in the forums - you do well and I am always glad to hear from you - you have your unique ideas and write well

And your pics are excellent and if you have trouble - or feel you have trouble - saying what you feel the pics certainly do the job well

I don't have any tatts to compare in my old age - plenty of scars - they get old and stretchy in time - but yes - one of them tickled my fancy - I will let you know which one but you do well and I don't detect any malice at all - 

Just do what you can - that's all we can do actually - when we look at the big picture - some people can do enough to win the Nobel Prize - the rest of us can do less - you do fine

Dec

I can't seem to get my pics this morning - that's my new put-up-with-it-for-now thing

[utopia]

Thank you @Owlunar. I'm starting to get used to not using my right arm now.
Brushing my teeth is very different with my left hand lol.
Cutting your long hair off. Oh no!!! I would have bawled my eyes out. I have long hair and don't like short hair on me. So I would be devastated to have my hair cut off. Funny what we couldn't handle.

[Former-Member]

Yes @Utopia, hhad my hair cut but still manage a small ponytail and grannybun on top. How long is your hair? Mine is too thick to have too long re AS / neck arthritis. Sorry about your arm, what a pain but hopefully start healing better now. Maybe take on a barrage immune boosters to help. With your teeth, maybe its time to invest in an electric toothbrush that does the twisting for you. Do take care xox

@Owlunar, tthanks for your kind words. I try. Bit tired today, body & head feel heavy but hope to push through. Had some dark thoughts yesterday - this is my warning signal for extra self care (once labelled self indulgence but I'm not wearing that anymore). My mother's worsening state and lashing out more isn't helping - you know only too well how they can get under our skin. Hurts, especially when ya need family. Actually felt strong fly yesterday, from the HS, to come to terms with the fact that I don't have a 'family' as such. Not one out after my best interests anyway. Maybe wanting me out of the house is Gods way of saving me, I was prepared to go the whole nine yards so to speak. I hear dad iis finally having formal cognitive testing. In the meantime I lost the car keys (my bad! hid them actually because he shouldn't drive & nobody else uses it there & hopefully he'll lose his licence soon, sad but necessary, poor dad). There I go again, prattling on about them. I care too much 😧. Hope your cat lasts longer Dec - maybe grab a playmate for her, they say it helps? Still miss my dog, thought i felt him snuggle up on my bed last night 🐕 😶

You take care my dear forum friend 💜💜💜

[Owlunar]

@Former-Member@utopia@outlander@Bunniekins

I can hardly believe the last couple of days - really interesting

Poor little Companion Cat looked so ill yesterday and I took her to the vet early and she was examined and had blood and urine taken for tests and I bought her home and went out and got her a chicken fillet and she ate that and she has had some more today - but yes - I had a call from the vet and she is okay and in very good condition actually - but when I picked her up to put her in her cage she just felt like a furry bag of bones and hadn't eaten or drunk anything for nearly 24 hours - and had slept for all that time except when she was in my face during the night - whiskers and loud meows - and she took herself to her own bed and she was so limp

It might have been the heat - but it was not hot in my house yesterday - I have the A/C on today - so maybe she felt knocked out by the heat - I don't know but she is an elderly cat and I still have to watch her for a while

When I was waiting at the doctors I got a phone call from the surgeon and they had a cancellation for today at lunchtime and I have seen the surgeon and I am going to hospital for an arthroscopy next Tuesday and he told me I don't need a knee replacement yet - and if this had just happened he would have suggested I wait for 3 months to see if things improved but it has been three months and it is minimally improved if at all - and he is going to do what he can to tidy up the torn cartilage and I am a little rattled how quickly this has happened so - this time next week I will have had this surgery so - ah - stil feel rather rattled

And the Aged Care Package thing - yeah - I rang them yesterday and waited - and waited   -    and waited - waited

Waited

Waited

and gave up and thought this could wait until after I get my knee seen to

And the Pain Clinic - I tried to ring and get an appointment with a different doctor and I am uneasy about this - so I left a message and they haven't rung back yet - and today has been busy and I have a lot of things to do since I got back from seeing the surgeon and darn - 

My GP couldn't let me finish a sentence - not to go on and on about it but he couldn't seem to hear me say my first pain specialist is still practising privately and he would be easier to see than a doctor in public system but yes - I would keep trying yes I would keep ringing them - yes I would - I know it's important and finally - rode my voice over his and said I had a question I needed to ask

Darn - I do think he was rude - but I can only control myself and that's enough about that

Wow - that is a lot to happen in just over 24 hours

And "I'll get by a little help from my friends"

Thanks for your support all my good friends

Dec

[Owlunar]

Yes @utopia

I had long silver hair in a pony tail well down my back and it was lovely - of course it was behind me and hard to see but yes - I felt terrible seeing it on the floor like that

It has never been grown again - and I am used to it short I think - it is much easier to care for - and I think it looks better

But even after all these years yes - I remember that day and not only that - it was long enough and strong, fine straight hair - great to make wigs for cancer patients and I didn't have time to think about that - it was get it cut off or go crackers - it was so hard to care for with one arm

As women our hair is important - for me short hair is okay but I did like my long hair - and I don't think that is strange at all - 

So - brushing your teeth, fixing your hair, eating with a spoon - those prepared meals, washing what you can - hanging out however - a million odds and ends we never think about until they are too difficult

All the best Utopia

Dec

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

You are bound to be feeling fragile with your Mum failing and it will not help to have her lashing out the way she does and I know this myself having been through it - so I continue to care

Goodonyer girlfriend for hiding ya Dad's car-keys - of course he can't drive and your mum just might try and get him to drive again

And I think the car isn't registered either - and good if you left them in their house too - you didn't take them - you just hid them - well done

Take care of yourself through the dark thought - it will not be easy in the coming however long so I wish you all the best with that - as rough as it is bound to be

Dec

[utopia]

@Owlunar. I like my hair long. I tend to hide behind it when I'm feeling anxious. Other times it's pulled back off my face.
You have had a very busy 24 hours.
Your Cat - probably didn't drink enough water and was dehydrated. Or could have eaten or licked something in the garden that made his tummy upset.
So glad you got the cancelation appointment with your specialist. He sounds like he knows what he's talking about. Go in there and clean it up. Just what you need. Next Tuesday. Very quick to get it. But in a way that's good. Quicker to get in, quicker to be over, quicker to be walking again. That will be a huge relief for you.
Your gp sounds like a bully. Why doesn't he understand that you already have a pain specialist? Seeing one under the public system would take a lot longer than your private one.
So much news. I hopeit's not too overwhelming for you.
You have my support for next week and beyond. ♥♥♥

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Owlunar, I'll be ok ta 💜, survived worse. You on the other hand - what acday indeed! So much going on. Do you journal. For me (not everyone), if I make a list of things concerning me, and a little box to come back to and tick for any 'to do's' - it seems to settle me down mysteriously, puts me back in control or something.

That's interesting about your beautiful long hair, missed that oops, thought Utope was talking about me haha, cause I had 5-6" cut off my hair this last week, to relieve neck pain I hoped (no change yet). Still long enough to put up in a ponytail or bun though (as mentioned on d'clutter thread). Yours sounds like it was reeeeeeally long, u must miss it.

I'm glad your cat's tests came back OK, but a bit strange then that she's unwell, not nice seeing them suffer. Do u give her any raw meat? 😞

Hang in there Dec 💐💜💮

[Owlunar]

Hi @utopia

Yes - my hair was long and I wore it in a pony tail - now I get it cut every 6 weeks and keep it out of my face with clips - it tends to fall over my face and it really annoys me. It sounds as if your hair is really a good prop for you - good idea

My cat - who knows what cats do when they are outside - maybe she was just having an off day and if I wasn't so concerned with her weight I might not have bothered much but she's old and very thin and small as well - and I felt anxious and the vet assured me it is better to worry about old cats than to put off a vet appointment - and seeing as I consider it money well spent on a good friend it's okay - 

She eats a prescription diet for cats with Lower Urinary Tract Disorder - she nearly died when she was young - her male litter mate did died around the same time and it's possible he had the same disorder and male cats die quickly of crystals in the bladder - however I got a fillet of chicken for her and she has been eating that - turning up her nose at her regular food - the chicken will disappear later tomorrow - esp if it smells off - the vet suggested she goes back onto her regular diet

This doctor can be a bit brusque at times - and I can give as good as I get - but about my pain specialist - she had gone on holidays and they don't know whether she is coming back or not and they asked me if I wanted to see another doctor and I said "No" at first but my doctor says I need to have my medication authorized and so I do need a different doctor in the public system - my back up plan is that if I can't get a suitable doctor in the public system I will go back to the doctor in the private system - 

This whole thing is stressful - the Age Care Package thing, the cat, the knee - they are being dealt with but the pain specialist issue is up in the air

But I keep hearing this thing about pain medication - that it makes the pain worse when people try to get off it - as far as I am concerned I have reduced my medication over time and I have this firm belief that the pain was there first and nothing has been done to correct the situation and it makes no sense to me at all that the medication makes the pain worse.

Regardless of whether that is true or not - just in case - if and only if and every other expression I learned in philosophy classes - what about disability without suffiecient medication? No one answers this question and I am pretty sure wheel chairs are very addictive -'

However - this is enough ranting - I think I feel better this evening - better than I have felt for quite some time - I don't know how long - weeks - getting the loose and damaged edges of the cartilage will be a relief - my daughter is working that morning and she is going to ask her boss if it's okay if she is a little late for work and she will drive me to the hospital - and then pick me up the following day - she is happy to do this so I am really pleased about that

So I think I have been ranting about my doctor and I feel okay about that - I felt really p o after seeing him yesterday and yes - I think he was very rude and I am less tolerant when I am in pain - which I was yesterday

All the best with your arm Utopia - I really hope that the wound heals up quickly - did they stitch it up again or use steri-strips

That is really an inconvenient thing to have happen - it so is

Dec