Life can be a Pain

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Former-Member, actually woke up refreshed. like I'd had the best sleep. Hope you are ok'ish?
Hi @Decadian @Bast @Owlunar @outlander

[Former-Member]

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member and @Former-Member

I'm sorry both of you had bad moments at work - these things happen I guess and it doesn't matter where we are or what we are doing they are going to happen - thinking of both of you

And also @outlander and @Bast

I'm glad you are on board here - when I am busy doing whatever I get busy at - this time taxes - like everyone else I guess - it's very good to know that other people are stepping up with my threads - 

I am okay - strange night - I must have been tired - but I feel okay - the antibiotics seem to be working on my ingrown toe nail - so that's good and the weather is good but really sunny

So I hope people are in for a pleasant remainder of the long weekend - but having read some posts already this morning I don't think that's happening

So - have the best time you can - which might not be good - but I care about it

Dec

[Shaz51]

good morning @Owlunar, @Former-Member, @outlander, @Former-Member 

[Former-Member]

Glad you woke up feeling refreshed @Former-Member - I really hope that it leads to a great day for you! nice pic too 🙂

Morning and thanks to everyone 🙂

[Owlunar]

Hi @Shaz51

How are you feeling today? I hope your infections are clearning up - I guess that is pretty hard for you when you only have one kidney and that doesn't work very well

I am okay - just busy - tax time - I am really at the stage of sorting out the chaos and tidying up - what a relief and I haven't looked yet but I think my in-grown toe nail is much better

I hope Mr Shaz is okay - sometimes I find his excuses for the way things work in the world are a little quaint - but I guess to him the only thing he can do to manage is to go to bed and feel better there

That is hard for you - you have a lot of health problems of your own

Thinking of both of you

Dec

[Shaz51]

good morning @Owlunar , well nearly afternoon

I think my in-grown toe nail is much better, hope soo my friend , i remember getting mine pulled out , the doctor put 5 needles in the toe to dumb it and started cutting and i said OH that hurts so he had to put another needle in the toe

i took a photo once of both my big toes being infected , yuk , mum said why did you take a photo xx

Yes tax time , I am getting ours together -- self employed and a very small business - but i take it in too get done , when you have all the paperwork done yourself it is prenty straight forward , we have been to a few people but this last group seems to be good

Me , yes thank you , go and see the kidney specialist on thursday for my 6 monthly checkup , had all my blood tests done during the week , and i have what is called a horseshoe kidney  because of my rubella syndrone when i was born the kidney did not separate into 2 kidneys , the second kidney stayed attached and did not grow

Mr shaz is ok , a couple of things happened during the week which he ended up going back on all his meds -- until next time , he will try to go off them again , one reason is our church minister is leaving so mr shaz is not going back to church at all

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Owlunar, hope you're OK yourself.
My trigger should have been a minor affect but some things we can't control
THIS OLDER MAN, a regular customer at the shop had two children with him that i hadn't seen before. Being my bubbly chatty self tried to strike conversation while serving him & asked if these were his grandchildren. He ignored me and appeared agitated while processing his eftpos. I asked if anything was wrong & he blurted out: "i've been coming to this shop every day since it opened, YOU are the new element here not me, AND you have no place asking the nature of people's relationships" oh crapcrap, shock,. Well... I said sorry, and finished serving him. Then i had to race to the tea room to collect myself - but i cried for 1/2hr (sobs, unusual sucking-air-in sobs, a massive and embarrassing overreaction that makes me want to flee) My offsider relieved me at the counter). I know @BlueBay understands this crying thing, its consuming - not sure if i'm hurt, sad, angry, or what, but freezing it over requires so much energy. Then I start having angry, vengeful thoughts (googled him...) then I have to squash that down. Agg. I finished my shift, but was teary the rest of the day, and exhausted and passive waves of SI bowled me over, nocked me about a lot here in my own. Didnt help that the scoatica had got really bad as wrll. Connecting here on the forums helped, @oceangirl, @Former-Member, @CheerBear, @Shaz51 and moderator. Hate the fuss but needed to feel less alone I think, or I'm just dieing it feels.

I have quit jobs on the spot for less than this incident - have to make a decision. Worried I can't take too many of these days.
Why can't I stop people's crabbyness penetrating right to my heart?? I cant stop it, I lose it one way or another, bits of myself. Most people cope, why cant i? Hate living with my MI, just too sensitive to be out there in the world, around people.

Hopefully this teary thing lately, and not coping, is just temporary, just the Winter Blues compounding the anxiety the depression the ptsd... who knows...

Thanks for checking in & for your prayers🌷🌿 Hope you're OK ☕

[Owlunar]

Hi @Former-Member

You did nothing wrong and nothing to be ashamed of - you were just being friendly and the old man is extremely rude and I think he is an A.... - I am so sorry this happened to you

That's okay about crying - sheesh - I hate it when people are rude to me but usually I give as good as I get or give them the last word - which is powerful - and so frustrating for the rude person

But yeah - there is no need at all for him to be so rude - really - no excuse for anyone to be rude - I am like you - bubbly most of the time - even when I am in pain - esp when I am in pain - I make up original jokes on the spot - but rarely even impolite - 

So I feel badly for you having this old man showing you his colours where you work - no need for that - and I am glad you have shared this - you may have but I am behind with my posts here and never try and catch up on what I have missed

I don't know why these things cut to your heart - the other person in such incidences is at fault - perhaps it's your MI - I don't know - I know that when I was angry and yelled at that little girl the other day I felt bad - but then - I would do it again - and yes - people are uncontrollable and rude and somehow we have to get along with life itself

But so hard when people are nasty

I am okay - let's see what little pics are suitable - I am so glad they are coloured now

Dec😍🎆🎉🎊

[Owlunar]

Hi @Shaz51

I took the bandaide off my toe and had a look and touched it - ouch - oh yeah - I might have to have it fixed up in some way - it kept me awake for a couple of nights but it's fine in the open air - I think it's improving

It sounds horrible what you had done - I have had something similar - I inherited a hooked toenail thing from my father - but he let his go until they were really bad - I am not so sooky - I get it fixed as soon as it gets red and sore

I know your mother had rubella when you were busy growing inside her - it's a cruel thing to have happen and no one's fault - but having two kidneys that did not separate meant both are faulty in some way  - that is so rough

Rubella is tricky - I have never had it - I was sent to all the Rubella Parties but never caught it - I even got into bed with my sister when she had it - and my children had it one after the other - and no - I didn't - but the quarantine period went on from when the first one got it until well after the second one was over it. Now I believe I could have a blood test to see if I have had it and never known - but the doctor shrugged - if I haven't had it yet I am unlikely too -

Yeah - the world is strange

The world is a hard place for Mr Shaz - he is not going back to church because the minister is leaving - have you mentioned the rest of the people will be the same? This has to be hard for you Shaz

Between posts I am tidying up the mess I have left behind me sorting out taxes - I guess I am nearly finished and will be glad when I finally see the accountant even though I think I haven't found everything

I am totally over it

Dec