Lived Experience Forum

[PeppyPatti]

Yes, it does need further unpacking.

I'm very different - in a good way - than my immediate family. That's my three brothers and Mum. My two 30+ aged sons seem to learn compassion as they get older. 

I feel like all I care about is the soul. That's it. 

Loneliness feels bad when you have high anxiety

Loneliness feels bad when your trying to do the right thing when your kids were little but your single, working and you just don't know where to turn. 

[tyme]

Hey @Meowmy @Former-Member @PeppyPatti @Lila3 @Former-Member ,

"I just heard this saying in an audible I'm listening to the audible spoke that loneliness happens because you don't have people around you to understand you. "

I'm still digesting this one. I read it and I've been chewing on it since. 

I'm thinking, if loneliness happens because people don't have people around to understand them, does emptiness mean the person doesn't understand themselves?

I don't know.

I'll keep thinking.

[tonys]

Hello @Former-Member   Thankyou for your letter.    These forums really are like trains passing in the night.   The motion of endless days of routine lulls us into fitful slumber,  we miss a post here and there

and unbeknown to passers by,  we slip silently into loneliness.   I'm just glad that a flaw in the railway track

jolted me from my daydream.   I would never have known the depth of your waters.

The lady in the   "bubble".      Well now I do know . . .   I  am on your side of the glass whenever loneliness

clouds gather.   We will always miss messages,   the intent of the message,  and the true nature of the 

hands that sometimes,   trembled,   that message.      After all,  we are human,    as flawed as a desert rail we ride.         Common, good will and determination to overcome isolation,  will always 

overcome the flaws we inherit in this life,   as long as we never surrender the eternal search  for  each  other..

Your honesty and bravery is commendable.     I wish you peace and happiness..               tonys.

Ive never been on this forum before so hello and kind thoughts..

@cloudcore   @PeppyPatti   @Lila3   @tyme  and all who draw water here,

[PeppyPatti]

Agree 🌸

[Meowmy]

@tyme hey tyme, may be I experience loneliness as shame , being restricted by parents and then blamed for being never married. Also being fearful. As always feel lonely alone. No one to support or back up. And being unhappy，confused, hopeless, unfulfilled.,unloved. May be loneliness a lot to do with our relationships to our significant others and our relationship with ourselves. 

A journey to discover  find our better selves that lead us out of loneliness

[tyme]

I feel there is a misconception about marriage ending the feeling of loneliness. Yet I know many people who are married, yet have never felt so lonely... 

@Meowmy 

Don't let the guilt get to you. 🙂 I'm in the same boat. I'm not married, but happily not married.

[Former-Member]

Yes @tyme  🙂🌺

it sets up a framework of categorising many things against a hard to pin down set of parameters, if generalising is the primary objective, from what I can understand 🙂

looking forward to reading your thoughts when ready 💜🌺🙂

[Former-Member]

Hey there @tonys 🌺🙂

thanks for joining in here - and thank you for such deep and free flowing limbic thoughts which never fail to inspire new spaces in my brain 🌺🙂🫂 

Common good will and determination, indeed 🙂🙌🏻🌺

Thank you kindly for joining me on this side of the glass, your presence is most appreciated ☺️🌺

[Healandlove]

@Former-Member , lovely friend, I didn't realise you have an immunodisease. I can understand the challenges this brings and how interacting and socialising with others would be dangerous. I want to tell you that your strength, your kindness and your desire to help others inspire me. I hope that through your studies and once you can officially counsel others (on certification), that this brings you joy and a sense of belonging. Also that you don't feel lonely. 

@tyme, @PizzaMondo @PeppyPatti, @Shaz51 @TideisTurning is turning for me loneliness is not having someone that understands my pain or my joy. Because of my husband's complex-PTSD and his emotional withdrawal when things are bad, I am often left dealing with the heartache and the inability to talk about things. He becomes overwhelmed and he hides. These moments are so lonely and at times I feel like a single mum. These are the moments of most loneliness for me. Slowly and very slowly therapy is helping us both and I can manage to discuss feelings for 10min or so before it becomes too much for him.

I also wanted to recommend a reading app called Fable, for those of us that enjoy to read. This app has a lovely community of readers from all over the world who post reviews,  comments on the books and even join book clubs within the app. It is all very civil and you can have a list of books you want to read and have read. Other members can follow you based on your reading list. The app is free and it has moderators who post articles and you can comment on them. It has been a nice distraction for me whilst taking to other people about books.

Perhaps it may be useful for our lovely SANE members.

Seding you all virtual hugs and an image of all of us sitting and drinking tea or coffee, chatting and laughing at jokes. I use imaginary to help when I'm feeling lonely or sad.

Hugs and a good night to you all🥰

[Former-Member]

hey there @Meowmy  🌺🙂

I hope not to intrude, however I wanted to gently say your post struck a chord..our relationships with others and ourselves, and discovering our better selves..

I was married, and by default believed I shouldn’t feel lonely - however the entire time I was married, I was lonely (a smidge under 17 years). When I separated, I didn’t quite know how to feel as my own person, I had forgone myself for the sake of someone else’s happiness for nearly 2 decades. I found that I was incredibly lonely, but only because I had the space to realise I had lost myself -was separated from myself - and needed to rediscover who I was as an individual. I realised a lot of my loneliness was due to me measuring who I thought I was supposed to be instead of being who I am 🙂💜

So, your words couldn’t be more true 🌺🙂🫂