not feeling good

[Maggie]

Answers come in strange ways sometimes @BlueBay . This sounds like the right place for you at the moment. Take care. 💙💙💙

[Maggie]

Thinking of you today @BlueBay . Sending the best wishes ever, that this hospital stay is helpful. 💙💙💙

[BlueBay]

thanks a lot @Maggie 

feeling a bit anxious and guilty

but that's okay, i will be fine once i am there

i am so used to this hospital and staff

[Emelia8]

Hey there @BlueBay ... firstly sorry I havent been around for several days.  I logged back on yesterday, but it seems that notifications have not been working at all yesterday, and today they seem to be leaking through very slowly.  

So the fact is that I missed your post yesterday with the news of your upcoming hospital admission.  It sounds as though this admission is needed, and I really hope you get from it what you need. Its also much easier that you can have whatever tests needed, done while you're in there.  Good news indeed.  No visitors and no leave pass, is a concern, but perhaps its a good thing overall.  A chance for a complete break for you.  I presume you will still be able to have your mobile phone and be able to keep in touch with your loved ones through that method?  And us here too of course.  😊💕👍  Sounds like this morning is going to be busy for you, getting prepared and ready to get to the hospital.  Sounds like you have get everything planned as best you can ... book, knitting, colouring in.  And phone ... dont forget the phone, and your charging lead.  Yes you will be okay ... I'm sure of that.  The peace and quiet will be wonderful and much needed, after the lockdown within the 'crowded house' conditions you've been living in.  Any idea how long your admission is likely to be?  Looking forward to catching up more later, hopefully when you're in your room and all settled in.

Hi @Owlunar @Maggie @Shaz51 @Eve7 @MDT  and others.

Emelia 🌸

[BlueBay]

hi @Emelia8 

thank you xxx

I am ready and packed.  it's hard to know how many clothes to bring, as i am not sure if i am staying one week or two. guess also it depends on tests on my heart.  i am nervous.

yes, i have my phone definitely, and the lead.  i can facetime my family and of course little A.  i am going to miss her so so much.  And as for no leave pass or visitors - that sucks but i guess its for the safety of all staff and other visitors. we have our own rooms and have to wear a mask when we leave our rooms for anything. not sure though if we are doing groups, that could be tricky.  but then if we don't its going to be a really mad sad place.

i started to feel guilty this morning because i was leaving the fam.  but i know they are quite capable. in fact maybe it's a good thing, not having to rely on me so much.

this time i am not worried financially as i will be getting a payment from centrelink next week so that's good.  and with no work i will get full amount.

you know my mum hasn't called me for more than 2 weeks now.  yesterday afternoon i called her and told her i was going into hospital to have a few tests reg. high blood prressure.  i didn't go into detail about mental health.  do you know what her comment was 'have a good time'!!!!  WTF!!!

have a good time - that's the most stupidiest ridiculous comment i have ever heard.

i am not going in until 1pm, my younger son will drive me in.  so i can spend this morning with little A.  i told her this morning that i was going to hosptial and she was upset, saying she won't see me when she wakes up.  i am going to miss her so much.  

hi @Maggie @Eve7 @Shaz51 @MDT @Faith-and-Hope @Owlunar @outlander and others reading 

hope you all have a nice day xxxxx

[MDT]

Thinking of you @BlueBay
Will to have access to the forums?

[BlueBay]

Hi everyone @MDT @Emelia8 @Maggie @Eve7 @Shaz51 @Owlunar 

@faith-and-hope @outlander 

and others

ive settled into my room. Was given an admission check up from the hospital doctor. Blood pressure low which is weird. I can't work  it out. She agreed that a echocardiogram  would be good to do while here. 
my psych just saw me. He isn't changing meds but I told him I had stopped one and he was ok with that. 
he agreed home  life is chaotic. And this admission is a break and regroup myself. He said he'll see me twice a week but really it's my decision when I wAnt to leave. He said I'll have the tests here. So I guess once they're done I won't stay because I need routine. I need structure. So I really need to get back to wirk. 
my D just called FaceTime so I could see her and Ayla. Ayla was asking me what did I have for dinner. And then she said the boys are home and she's trying to repeat what my daughter was saying - "disaster " 

I laughed and asked my D if she wanted to come here with me!!!

dinner was nice - lamb chops and veggies. Fruit salad for dessert. 

I called my GP this morning and told him about admission. I told him I let myself down terribly because I wanted to try to get through this on my own but obviously I can't. He told me to not be so hard on myself. He was angry that the other physician had prescribed a 3rd blood pressure meds. I shouldn't have been on it. I told him I'm getting confused with all these doctors tests and different changes with my blood pressure. He agreed. He said just go get the tests done and then come home. 
my GP has been so good in understanding my issues at home and how I handle things. Or not handle things. 

[Eve7]

I am pleased you have settled in so well @BlueBay Make the most of this healing sojourn

💙💙💙

[Shaz51]

sitting with you my sister @BlueBay 

[MDT]

I'm glad you are safe and settled my friend @BlueBay

Here's hoping the time is good for you to recharge. The month at home for me did that. Much needed.

You have A and your family supporting your choice here as well with the forumites.

Keep us posted my friend.

I'm proud of you.