not feeling good

[Shaz51]

thanks for the update my sister @BlueBay , been thinking of you lots 

[Owlunar]

Hi @BlueBay 

This was great to read

I go through feeling emotional at times then feel ok. But the extremes aren't as high as they used to be. 
my thinking has been more rational. I'm doing more pros and cons on things which lets me see it on paper and then I've been waiting before doing anything irrational. That's huge for me. 

That sounds so positive - your emotions are less extreme and your thinking is more rational - and waiting before you do anything irrational

I think you have been improving and this confirms it - you have been working hard for a long time and the COVID crisis has made things tough for anyone - and for whatever reason my computer drops me in the past sometimes when I am reading posts in the site and not just yours - mine as well - and it's not bad to read how things were a couple of years ago - you were all over the place a couple of years back and I have thought so much less so now though in reality life is harder

And mine - yes - I had other issues back then and I think I have come a long way too - though day to day I might never had noticed it - for me it could be a different pain management programme - one more in accordance with changes in Government Medication Protocols - and a programme with more proactive treatment - so much better - pain is a trial always - as you know and - wow - so much better that it was

Don't hurry home while you are getting so much sleep - it's crazy in the Crowded House - the hospital isn't great either but sleeping is and I think you aren't all the wrapped in your early rising grand-daughter's programme as much as you love her - get all the rest you can then think about going home

I wish you the best for your tests too - 

Dec

[BlueBay]

Thanks @Owlunar @Shaz51 @MDT @Maggie @outlander @Emelia8 

@Faith-and-Hope and others 😊

I feel alone. No groups on weekends. The nurses organise games but I'm not interested. I'm in my room alone. I'm wanting to cry but holding it together. 

I just want to go outside for fresh air   
I feel stuck 

I might do some knitting. I'm alternating between knitting reading and colouring in. I can't seem to do one thing for too long. 

[MDT]

Hey @BlueBay
I'm around for a bit this morning

[BlueBay]

What are you doing today @MDT 

[MDT]

Atm I am reading the paper with coffee @BlueBay before the wind picks up.

Then I'll maybe get something else to eat. I sometimes just graze on weekends and don't eat a meal at one time.

I also received a text from my Colombian friend and I had to ignore it. Too many bad memories and thoughts. I can't go back to that friendship. At least not now. I feel suffocated. Wasn't nice to wake up to this morning but I guess that's how it goes.

[Maggie]

@BlueBay  Are you allowed visitors ?

Being stuck in a small room would be hard. 💙💙

[BlueBay]

No visitors allowed @Maggie 

that's why I think this admission is hard 

I spoke to little A this morning. She was sweeping her mess. Helping mummy. 
My room has a view of trees and birds which is nice. 
so I'm pretty much in my room. 
I can't even go alone for a walk 

that's tough @MDT waking up to a message from your friend 

try to ignore it if you can

enjoy your day 

I think I need another coffee. 

[Maggie]

I did wonder when I asked @BlueBay . I hoped maybe one might be allowed. That would make this time hard and boring .

I’m heading over to the IGA store for some chocolate.🍫🍫

I hope they have decent coffee in hospital, I can remember it being awful.☕️☕️☕️

[MDT]

Same here @BlueBay
Let's get a virtual coffee my friend