rough time

[outlander]

Im not coping @Faith-and-Hope

[Faith-and-Hope]

Has something happened just now @outlander ?

[outlander]

Its been the past few days @Faith-and-Hope im so stressed about the wellbeing of mum and pop and kids (whether its perceived or real) i just cant cope.
Ive tried so many things its just not helping. Ive called a helpline each day for 3 days and they tell me the same thing. 'Itll pass keep using your coping strategie' of they will give me a new one but i just cant seem to get back on top of things. Ive had endless tears and being sick because of it and i dont know what else to do

[SleepyPanda]

Hi @outlander

Are you able to speak with other family members about your concerns with your parents and kids?

SP.

[Faith-and-Hope]

If you have tried everything you can do from home @outlander, then I would suggest it’s time to go back to seeing your psych about it

[outlander]

I cant get in to see a psych @Faith-and-Hope ive been in contact with a few and they arent taking new clients. Im hoping i hear back soon about another one but even that could have a wait list.

Maybe a distraction would help... would you be up for just a chat about anything maybe itll help with the distress abit even just for now?

I tried @SleepyPanda i either didnt get the point across or maybe they didnt listen. I dont know what is real and what isnt. I should note they arent in any danger what so ever it is my brain thinking that everything is wrong because mum looked unhappy or yesterday my sister said she had a bad dream. Its things so slight but irs causing the biggest reaction

[Zoe7]

It is time you take a stand for yourself @outlander. You take on everyone's problems and this has become your life. There is a way out of this but you have to be assertive and put yourself first. You cannot carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. I understand you have been doing this for a very long time and old habits are difficult to break but it seems to me that you thrive in an unhealthy way in the drama - that is not your fauly - it is behaviour that you have had to learn to be able to survive when you have been invalidated by others. Please think of yourself first here - reach out to your supports (here and offline) and make a plan to move forward. It only has to be simple things like doing one positive thing for yourself each day or spending a few minutes just on you. We can help you to make this plan and help you to stick to it but you need to Want to make these changes Hon 

[outlander]

@Zoe7

" it seems to me that you thrive in an unhealthy way in the drama "

Im abit stuck on what you mean by this part.. could you please explain it abit more?

[SleepyPanda]

@outlander

I'm sorry I am about to sign out at 7, I will ask the next moderator to be available if you need assistance. 

It is natural to worry about our parents when they get older, maybe focussing on enjoying their company right now is the most positive way to deal with your feelings.

Please take care.

SP

[Zoe7]

You seem to feel the most selfworth when helping others when there are issues they need to deal with but you do not give yourself the same compassion when you are struggling @outlander. Often when we are dealing with a lot of internal disdain we seek out situations where we can be of help - in that way we think we are taking care of ourselves by helping others - the opposite is in fact true - we cannot look after others unless we look after ourselves first.