rough time

[Owlunar]

That's really bad @outlander

There used to be more sessions available for people but they were cut back - guess why - people used it too much - how crappy - what an idiotic reason

I will check up when I get the chance to ask my GP - things might vary from state-to-state though

But have you tried a free agency? - or maybe a social worker can assist you - surely someone - how have you managed before this?

Or has the mat been totally pulled out from underneath you - as @Sans911 suggests - practise self-care - you are pretty good at that - but I know that stretches us out entirely

I am practically cured of therapists - after the last one - still - you need it now - many people need therapy - and little is provided

Still thinking about you and hoping something positive happens

Dec

[MDT]

@outlander the community is here to support you 🤗

Not sure what else I can add other than I am thinking of you at this time.

[outlander]

@Sans911
Im feeling all over the bloody shop exacrly like a bus has taken me out. To many emotions to even list but it seems youve covered the most of it lots of hurting.
I said i wouldnt give up but every part of me is saying what is the point and SI is very high.

Community mh team said they wont help because i have supports. My gp and psychiatrist ( even if i dont see them that often) are still included in that. It has the psychiatrist scratching her head because they arent psychologists.

Ive been on the findapsychologist.com site and it tells me all sorts. Out of the psychs ive enquired to only 2 done dbt ( amongst other types) the rest varied between cbt, act, schema therapy cant think of the others....... bur without dbt.

And to make things harder tomorrow was my first hospital admission and its so bloody trumatic.

[outlander]

Thanks @MDT

@Owlunar nope the rugs been pulled out. The free agency is the community mh team and they wont take me back and my gp and pdoc dont think i require a support worker which again is mosrly through the community.
I thought this yr was going to be better or so id hoped. The past yr has been literally finding supports and medications and tests and admissions this yr doesnt seem to be much different. I just dont get it

[outlander]

Im sorry
Im sorry everyone
I should be able to manage better than this
I dont want to be negative but the darkness has just sucked me right back in.

[Owlunar]

Aw @outlander

Give yourself a break - the mat's been pulled out from under you - there is nothing negative about that - except the fact of it - you can feel really bad about this - I am giving your permission to feel really bad

Join the club here - I have given myself a Mental Health Day and I am retired - if I am in here posting a lot you can bet I am giving myself space from feeling down-in-the-dumpsies - which is better than fighting the Dumpsies - I have a choice in this I guess

It's amazing to me that people who are young and fresh and new in the workforce can be given jobs with the authority to allow or deny someone help - and I have found banging on doors - perhaps not literally - can work because the next time you try access or the time after or maybe the time after that you might hit pay-dirt

That's the good/bad news - the bad news is that it mightn't work - the good news is - as hard as it is it just might work

Keep trying - you know if you need help - not an 18 year old intern in good health - btw - that person is likely to move on - it all makes a lot of extra work to deny people constantly

All of which might be just more of the same old same old right now but the choice is not trying and somehow - I can't quite see you doing that

Dec

[outlander]

Thanks @Owlunar

Im really hating life atm. I really want to improve it. I guess  i cant do that tonight. Just as you and @Sans911 have said self care and connecting here 

[Sans911]

My lil Sis, first of all don't ever be sorry. Second, this is a sucker punch that hit twice. And it's horrible and painful. And it's ok to not be ok.

You can't be expected to manage this by yourself. That's why we are here. Stay here tonight with us. We'll support and comfort you.

For now acknowledge the darkness and negative. It's your way right now of coping with a disaapointing day, and frustrations of navigating a shitty mh service. Acknowledge the feelings, sit with with them for 10mins only, and then get up, make yourself something to eat, even if you don't want to, and a cup of tea.

Tommorow is another day to try again @outlander

[Owlunar]

Right - there is not a lot anyone can do about changing their life at 7.30  on a Wednesday night @outlander- though I did make a choice sometime since it got dark

And that's about writing a letter to my rellies - I think I was waiting until I felt like doing that - I often wait until I feel like it before I do something like writing a heart-felt letter that I will send-express-snail-mail.

We can accept our life - or we can do whatever we can to change it - we have a choice at least and at my advanced years I have found it's better to try and change anything we can't accept - and somehow figure out the difference

About hating your life - are you having a different life-hating event or is this a different one - btw - this is a rhetorical question - I was hoping your life would improve but it took me a long time to get through the dark time in my life - so glad I kept trying to change things although someone I was seeing at the time told me to stop trying to change things - how stupid is that - I didn't see much more of that person

I don't read the forum as I did some time back - I guess that's an improvement in my own life - but it seemed to me you were battling even after your family left - I hope things give up and let you just live your life from time to time

I wish you the best - life can be a bitch at times

Dec

[outlander]

I just made a tea and put bbt on. Will have a shower at some point because ive been walking around in mud because of the horses but i dont feel like it atm will after tea. @Sans911
Why does it have to hurt so much. I dont want to do tomorrow either. Pity i couldn't skip a few days.


@Owlunar things are abit better i get abit more time to myself just depends on the day. Sometimes i make decisions like that at night but i cant do it tonight an that will have to be ok even if i dont like it. Hope your writing goes well and tour satisfied with the finished product.