sad&stuck

[Shaz51]

no holiday for queensland tomorrow @STORMGRL101, @Zoe7, @Former-Member, @outlander, @Phoenix_Rising ???

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Shaz51 I am in NSW. It's a long weekend here.

[Shaz51]

not in qld @Phoenix_Rising, ours is in october xx

[Former-Member]

@STORMGRL101, I get that 'abandonment' I feriority complex too. They don't understand our bpd level of pain, too often assume its a choice. Sometimes I'm brave enough to say 'I feel fobbed off' and the good ones take the time to explain. If you're like me there's a temptation to 'get in first' at the slightest hint of rejection / abandonment an P them off first. But after 30yrs doing that I realised I do have to sometimes stand my ground & work the system, play the game, know what I want and need and fight for help. The best wqy to do this is staying calm and be honest. Just because they treat you wrong doesn't mean you are wrong, it does however say a lot about them. I think they just want you to build some detachment coping, its hard not being listened to or understood, they don't get how painful it is. But some of us here do, keep posting. Don't let Blackdog twist the facts into false beliefs. You're just as important as anyone 🌷🌿

[STORMGRL101]

I'm so sad and I'm hurting. Bad night is bad. 😭

Need to sleep. 😴 

[Sydphotog]

I feel exactly the same way. Tough to feel this way isn't it and you feel like every day is an effort and everyone else around you is doing OK and going places and you are not. 

[STORMGRL101]

Yes exactly @Sydphotog 

I saw my support worker today and read her a bit of my journal. I think she was a little concerned as she asked if she could email my care coordinator to talk about getting me a new psychiatrist to see. I'm still struggling daily with SH and SI thoughts and I feel so empty and defeated.  It's such a hard battle... 😓

[STORMGRL101]

Having bad thoughts 😰 First time since being home that I thought about hospital again. Lucky I have company otherwise I'd have to ring through to triage. Told partner I'm feeling bad and he suggested we go to the movies.  Found out I have been accepted for DBT but there could be a long waiting list maybe even up to a year. I can't wait that long. I'm so sad and scared. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @STORMGRL101

Will going to the movies help to distaract you, do you think ?

The DBT might come up faster than that, hopefully .....

💐💕

[STORMGRL101]

@Faith-and-Hope It did help for a little bit but I'm still stuck in that dark place and I feel like a ticking time bomb
I'm scared 😢
I'm trying not to think of the big picture just going minute by minute, hour by hour.