Fitting In?

[outlander]

Hi Zoe I have been thinking a lot. I dont want to keep making the same mistakes so the best thing to do is to address them.
I can generally tell by the thread title if im going to be triggered or unfamilair. But sometimes like others the triggers arent obvious or thread title attracts us and then after reading it we dont comment because we have nothing to offer.

Ill try and see myself as unique rather than different but thats hard for me to do because I really dont like being in my own skin. Something I have to learn to do, maybe one day or after some changes but not right now.

@Zoe7

[BambiFawn]

So sorry I meant to say I put the hurt in the sea of forgetfullness. Though the memories may remain.

[outlander]

Hi BambiFawn

having no or little support is hard. Its hard being alone all the time. Being here helps though, despite being alone physically even in a room full of people.

My mother has hated me since before birth too, I broke up her relationship and took her normal life away and for that I dont think she will ever forgive me. It wasnt just me that said that, my psychologist said it too trying to put it nicely but it doesnt help. Im sorry your mother has been so horrible to you! I cant believe there are parents out there like that.

@BambiFawn

[BambiFawn]

Hi dear @outlander,
Thanks for caring.
Yes it is an awesome website, the Sane Australia site, with lots of support here and friendships to be made.
So sorry about your mother hurting you. You don't deserve it. Noone deserves hatred or abuse from anyone, no matter if they're the Queen of Sheba.
I am finding that giving my worries/ cares problems to Jesus helps me a lot. Then I can rest and not worry about anything, knowing that Jesus is praying and interceding on my behalf. As it says in the Bible, ' Cast your cares on Him (God), for He careth for thee.'!Peter 5-7. So surrendering everything to Him will help a lot. Then rest knowing He is working behind the scenes on your problems. God is faithful.
I too get lonely sometimes, and feel like a babe in the woods/ wilderness. But when you have Jesus, you can never be lonely.
Take good care. Bless you, huggies x

[outlander]

its hard @BambiFawn but im glad youve found a way that helps ease things for you

[BambiFawn]

Thanks dear @outlander, 

You are so sweet and caring, thanks.

Also I have a good sence of humour and that helps me a lot.  As it says in Bible, ' A merry heart doth good like medicine haha.

[Appleblossom]

Dear @outlander

@Zoe7 @BambiFawn make good points.

Please dont overthink or beat yourself up about "fitting in"

I feel a little warmth seeing your profile pic humming about on the site.  You share and care and should not expect yourself to be anything other than who you are.  That is enough.

I struggled with fitting in for most of my life.  I put enormous energy into it and am only recently starting to shed it.

We are all different.  You are younger than some posters.  Other posters have felt too old.  There is no age limit on caring and experiencing mental health issues.

I am not sure there are forum mistakes, think of it more as play, not so much as a right or wrong way to post. Try a bit of this and a bit of that. We cant control the responses of others and that is what makes them so special.

A lot of us have found it addictive and time consuming but beneficial.  We set boundaries on it in different ways, so sometimes an absence of response really may just be other stuff and nothing you did or did not do.

I am fond of you little sis.

[outlander]

thank you @BambiFawn@Appleblossom i will get to your msgs maybe tomorrow. im battling inner demons at the moment and low on energy from virus but thank you for your responses its much appreciated

[outlander]

your kind and caring yourself, without people like you and others here, it would make life a pretty crap one to live. Having others who understand makes life just that more bearable so thank you.
Also love the pic! @BambiFawn

[outlander]

Hi @Appleblossom

I was having quite a hard night so I thought id wait otherwise my response wouldnt be what id like it to be..

Im trying not to beat myself up over it but was this soemthing I was really struggling with and wasnt sure if I should say anything bit ive learn if I dont say anything sometimes it festers away and gets worse so I think its better to address what im feeling no matter what the outcome is. You dont know until you ask right.

Thank you for your kind words, they are very much appreciated. Ive always felt like an 'outlander' not only here but in life too. My friends I thought were friends delted and blocked me after I offerred my help, and the friends I went through school with were back stabbers and I spent my time in the library trying to be busy on a computer because I didnt have anyone else. They spread many rumours, ending up me being bullied ad physically beaten over something I had no idea what was going on, through yr 12 I had no one and when I graduated those 'friends' deleted and blocked me too.

I was starting to feel the lack of fittin in here too and it was starting to worry me and was worried about the responses I was going to get. Id much rather honesty from people, makes things less complicated and messy.

It want the responses I was getting, im extremely grateful for people here and their ongoing support and their support at all. It was more that I wasnt finding any common ground with people here and wasnt really sure what the best thing to do was. I have no intentions on leaving, I love being here and really it makes me feel less alone. I hate that others are struggling so much but it seems to be the common ground and the reason we are all here.

Im fond of you too sis