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30-10-2018 10:48 PM
30-10-2018 10:48 PM
Hi all, so just some background,Im 22 this year. I've had 4 past depressive episodes ever since I was 16. For the past 4 times, I always end up withdrawing from and losing most my friends and family(was never really close to them from the start) and end up "getting back up", cos I had a change of environment (eg. going from high school to college). So in a new environment, I found it easier to recover, cos no one there knew me and it was as if I could be a whole new person.
So back to now, Ive had another episode (3 weeks in). Similarly, Ive started to withdraw from my friends. But this time, it was different. For the very 1st time, I took the courage to open up about this to 3 of my college friends. Reason being I felt that the 3 of them are people that I can really really click with and ppl like that dont come easy for me. So I really dont want to lose them, like I did with the rest of my friends. And being the amazing ppl they were, they accepted me, and said they'll give me all the time I need until Im back on my feet again.
Here's the problem. Ive never had to go back to being my usual self with my friends before. Like I said in the 1st para, Ive never had to do this before. I always end up walking away from my old friends and try making new ones. So I dont know how I am suppose to do it.
On my good days, do I just go back to my usual self again? Cos it feels so awkward just thinking about it since Ive avoided them for the past 3 weeks. Then, disappear again for my bad days? Ive asked them to pull me along on my bad days, but I dont know how to carry myself in front of them. It's like Im just going to be quiet and a cold blanket, like I wont be able to smile or laugh at anything.
But I dont to wait until the whole episode ends, before going back to them. Cos Im not sure how long itll take. What if it took years. So i dont want to just wait but Im not sure how to go about tackling this.
Any advice?
31-10-2018 07:29 AM - edited 31-10-2018 07:39 AM
31-10-2018 07:29 AM - edited 31-10-2018 07:39 AM
Hi @Gin96 welcome to the forums it can take a lot of courage to open up about personal issues putting them out there for others to respond to. I am wondering though if you have other people in your life you rely on that you can speak to about these thoughts and emotions? If not it might be a good idea to speak to a GP about what is going on for you and or call any of the following support services:
Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat
Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling
Samaritans: 135 247
If in immediate danger: 000
Please continue to post as the forums have a lot of experience of emotional and other states, it is after all a peer support service
01-11-2018 07:01 PM
01-11-2018 07:01 PM
@Gin96. How great that you have found 3 mature minded people who understand you and your situation.
It sounds like they are willing to be there for you, so maybe this is a little bit about trusting them, to see if they will still stay by your side. ???
Even if you may have been isolated from them for 3 or so weeks, you just need to reconnect and enter that friendship circle again. It sounds like they will understand when you need time out, and then when you are feeling better able to cope, socially again.
If you need urgent assistance, see Need help now
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