I am- Overwhelmed & Traumatised I need your support!!

[Former-Member]

@Appleblossom

Thank you My GORGEOUS Lady!

I'm going to go to bed now, & take you in my heart to sleep with me, in my dreams!!

Love  Forever, &  BIG Hugs!

Bella xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx & more!

A Gift for you, from me!

[outlander]

Hey @Former-Member 

Just checking in on you

[Former-Member]

@outlander

Hi, thanx for caring about me, I am just sitting here in the lounge room. I was watching TVSN, selling beautiful jewelry. I want to start selling & making my jewelry when I have less pain to cope with.

I have so much here, its so sad that I have just had to stop like I did before my operation, & not been able to start again. 😞

I have to do my online food shopping soon, as I am getting tired. I was going to bake tonite but didn't feel like it. The Brownies can wait, until tomorrow or in a few days.  I have been a little depressed today, I thought myself out of it this morning. Then it snuck back again tonite, maybe sleep will help me, I hope so?

I have been wanting a special companion to spend time with, here where I live, I am in too much pain to do anything about trying to make friends, I don't want to dump my problems on anyone. I can not hide my body pain so I am just depressed about it all. I hate thinking, it is too upsetting, I am trying to distract my thoughts with what ever I can.  Do you find that its easy to see the strengths, & positives in most others, but not in yourself?   I am working on it, but shit, its frustrating to do that same for myself, I think positive things about myself, then I stop thinking the postive. Then back come the negative straight away. I never had these problems with mysel, when I was working, but now its so different, & I am so different, I feel like giving in & giving up on myself, its easy to do, but not really who I am, just who I have become atm.

Sorry @outlander, I just needed to let that out as I was holding all that in all day. Maybe I will feel better now I let it all out?

are you ok, I hope so, I was reading your convo in your Thread.

(((((((outlander)))))):heart: XXXXXX

Bella    :)

[outlander]

Hello @Former-Member
Im often wondering how you are ( good bad or ugly stuff) and always happy to chat if you need about anything ok?

I havent made jewellery before except the basic beads. Maybe you could buy a set of jewellery making things and just do them as you feel like it. Its what brings you some happiness too. Helps to forget the pain sometimes.


Hugs for those yukky feelings Bella, but its ok to feel like crap every now and then.
Have you thought about getting a support worker at all? Im sure you would qualify. Perhaps have a look and see what info you can get on support workers- they can also help with socialising as well.



Oh yes i can see the good in others but not myself. We are our own worst enemies. I can see all the wonderful things about you. Kind, caring , conpassionate and much more- your furbabies are very lucky to have you thats for sure.

I know its hard with pain but maybe you could sign up for a work from home thing? Or even try to do a short interest course to keep your mind occupied?


Your pain and mh arent who you are Bella, they are just the symptoms that are showing atm.

I want to help you first before i say anything about me. Your talking and getting whats on your mind out and is whats important to me

[Former-Member]

@outlander thanx for your encouragement it is awesome like u r!
I will be back later, I have to go do my shopping online before I get too tired & don't do it, as I can get it delivered tomorrow from Coles Online if I order tonite.
Hope you like the baby horses, very cute & the spotted one is unusual. xo 🙂 luv u heaps

[outlander]

Come back when your done @Former-Member

The spotted one is an ass (donkey cross horse) and its called an appaloosa

[Former-Member]

@outlander

I'm here now, its 5:40 PM I got so tired last nite, & its was getting late sorry,  I just had to sleep. I had an appointment today at GP, he is sending me for Blood tests for everything. He wanted me to come off my anti inflammatory, meds.  I can not stand the pain & hardly move without them, as I tried before to come off them, more than once. 

Next Friday I am having a Biopsy taken from some infected areas on my back. I get cysts, & boil type lesions on my upper back. The Doctor wants to find out why? I will have some pieces cut out of them to be analysed. I have to have anesthetic, have you had Biopsy before?

So the spotted horse is part Donkey, my goodness, I just noticed that he has a heart shape on his side, how gorgeous!

Love U!

Bella xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx & more!    

[outlander]

No need to apologise. I would be sleeping to if i could @Former-Member
Im glad you went to the gp today and he wants to do some investigating. They sound like they have your best interest at heart.
I had to go off anti-inflammatories due mt stomach issues. Perhaps he could suggest something better for you. When do you start treatment for your spine?
Yes i have had a biopsy done when i had my skin spots. Was just done under local but had sutures for nearly 2 weeks which was annoying esp when it come to showering. I had to have mostly washes with a washcloth and warm soapy water instead of a shower.
When do you need to get yours done?

Yep his head mostly shows the donkey side of him. He does had a love heart and is rather cute.

How are you feeling tonight?

[Former-Member]

@outlander
I'm ok but I do have a fair bit of pain in my left hand & on my back where the big cyst is, its stinging as it opened up & most of the infection came out in the shower this morning. I still have to see the nurse at the medical practise where my GP works, after the nurse does her examination I will then see the GP again, & I can start all the visits to the Specialists. Having the Flu set me back over 4 weeks. IHey, I have something yummy to share with you. I made the Brownies tonite, I add oil instead of butter, & I cooked them for 6 minutes in the Micro wave. Just to see what happens. They turned out just like real Choc Fudge. Not like a cake & like they do in the oven. They are so yummy, I will only cook them like that now.

[outlander]

Cysts are gross. @Former-Member

Have you got it covered so its not leaking over your clothes?

When do you see the nurse? 

Mmm brownies are good. Have you tried red velvet cake? Or strawberries and cream? They are both really good too