I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

[outlander]

i wish i could say i was doing better @Sans911 im tired and feel really unwell tbh. 

think ill be going to our special place

[outlander]

sorry @MDT still catching up on notifications

look up wild hogs. its about a group of friend bikers who go on a road trip. its funny. 

and good night

[MDT]

Thats okay @outlander
Hope your arm/hand improves soon!
Aside from that, how have you been going lately 🙂 ?

[outlander]

i thought you were going to bed @MDT

and not great, struggling with the ideas of ODing but staying safe for now. 

[Sans911]

Come to our special place @outlander. Please keep talking to me, because I'm scared for all of us in the space we're in. And I can't hold back the tears that have threatened all day. The thought of loosing you, @Former-Member and even myself is overwhelming.

Let's go somewhere that's better than in our heads. Somewhere special, free and safe.

[outlander]

its very special indeed, i imagine different parts of it and keep that image in my head 

im afraid of loosing us too, mh is a bi#$ch @Sans911 

im glad your letting it out, i dont plan on going anywhere, i just want it all to stop. i want to sleep in peace and the only time i do is in our special place even if its only for an hr it is still better than the alternative. will see if i can conjour up some pics to go with our special place

[Former-Member]

@Sans911I am sitting with you and @outlander in our special place. I am staying next to you two 

[outlander]

how are these @Sans911@Former-Member

[Sans911]

@outlander @Former-Member

I'm terrified that when I start to feel this tiny but better, how long will it last before it's goes hazy and dark again? And it's like I said to my counsellor last week I want to stay alive, but it's like I've made a contract not to, and I don't know how to turn that around. She said it's just thoughts and I don't have to act on them, but I feel I do. But I'm really scared now, do I stay alive with these terrible feelings of emptiness, hopelessness and emotional pain? Or do I go, and make everything go away.

I don't want to be in any of these places anymore. As I know you both don't either. How do we keep going through this?

[Sans911]

@outlander perfect lil Sis. Just perfect