I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member
I love you too, you are amazing to me!
(((((((Nell)))))))XXXXXXXXX
Bella 🙂
I am deeply concerned about Outlander?
I know you can help her with your amazing LOVE!
Bless you, Nellbell XO 🙂

[outlander]

@Former-Member

I have been told the same thing- that im spiritualy sensitive. I get bad and good vibes of people even as they walk near me, I can sense it in the room even if I havent come across them yet but sooner or later I do and I realise that there was a feeling for this. I get a sense when im driving somewhere if there will be bad or good vibes. Strange thing it is. Hard to distinguish between that and anxiety a lot of the time, and with bpd making me that extra sensitive makes it jsut that bit harder.

You can tell me anything you like Bella. 

Yes I have heard of that saying, I occassionally can be like that but I withdraw very quickly. It has taken a lot of trust to build with the people I have here. I dont reject your views Bella, I have no reason too. I quite enjoy you being here, but I respect – one of my highest values respect is- your decision to step back. We cant help everyone and it upsets and frustrates the hell out of me that I cant do that, im sure others are like that too.

This thread was quite heavy going for a few days Bella, I hated tagging people into here because of my attempt and then my ed admission last night from a panic attack was one of the scariest things yet.

A worse profession? A coroner. Id rather work with the living then the dead. True story this I read it a while ago- a taxi driver almost had a panic attack because he drove hersts and decided to change professions and when someone talked to him after it was quiet he thought it was the dead. Poor man.

[outlander]

had yet another panic attack @Former-Member i havent had it this bad ever. who has to result to puffers when your not astmatic for a panic attack. this time while i was out. its starting to worry me Nell, it truley is and it mixing with what we were talking about earlier about not having any hope left, and have no idea what the heck to do now is playing on me. maybe it was that song, the one i shared becasue it is so true it hits a nail on the head. its got me worried and add pops stuff on there on top of this and in that he needs to go see his specialist again to check a drain thing they have in is stressing me out to the max and i dont know what else to do

[Former-Member]

@outlander
I like what you wrote, I knew we had a lot in common. May be why we ended up friends. @Former-Member is patiently & lovingly waiting to talk to you. I will talk again soon to you outlander.
Nellbell is there for you now!
((((((outlander&Nellbell)))))
Love u both so much & more!
Bella XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Bye 4 Now! 🙂

[Former-Member]

@outlanderfirstly take a few deep breaths hun.

I know you are worried about your pop but all you can do is be there to support him whilst he goes to the specialist. Unfortunately somethings are out of our control.

If your panic attacks ae increasing which they seem to be, you need to let your psych know. When do you see your psychologist or psychiatrist next?

Panic attacks are scary, debilertating and scary, well they are for me, and I am sure they are for you too. They sap out all the energy and leave you feel exhausted. You need to do a bit of self care. Have a bath, cup of tea, listen to some soothing music, something to allow yourself to relax a little. 

Puffers are used for more than just asthma too so don't be too worried about using them.

[outlander]

ok @Former-Member your more than welcome to have you input here too if you like. if not thats fine too  

[Former-Member]

Talk later sweet @Former-Member 

[outlander]

i cant @Former-Member thats the problem i cant whihc then bring on more panic. it never ends and being at home now isnt helping, im rushing around trying to organise things. 

i am worried, i am so worried Nell. and what would make it worse would be me giving up the caring role because it would make it worse and ive thought about giving this role up but i cant it wouldnt help me, it would make me worse. my panic attacks are getting more frequent and worse, they use to exhaust me yes but ive never collapsed nor needed puffers for it either. its getting worse and worse and its at the point i cant contol them anymore. i havent got any idea what to feel. its all too much Nell. i dont know if im depressed or anxious or both or which or what. i havent got a clue. im overly anxious but depressed i dont even know how the heck that works. 

i hate my psychologist. i hate going. i want to give up on it because its really not helping me at all. she never helps me and i always walk out of there worse than i walked in.  ive been self caring all day. drawing, watching movies, tlaking on here, music, i even slept abit today and i never do that. 

[outlander]

i feel so yuk and sick and my chest hurts  😞 i cant keep doing this. i dont know how anymore

[Former-Member]

@outlander so sorry you are feeling this way but it sounds like there are some huge feelings there rhat are all jumbled up. Good work for doing some self care.
Before i go any further if i disappear for half an hour i have walked into my gp app.
U am not trying to palm you off and will sit here all night and talk but did u want to give SCBS or KHL a go. Ive rang SCBS twicw today. First time was not helpful but second time was. You have up to an hour to talk to both these lines hun. Ive never used KHL (because im old) but SCBS is really good. Just a suggestion sis 💖💖