I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

[Former-Member]

@outlanderditto what @Sans911 said, spot on 

[Queenie]

@outlander I think @Sans911 put it the best, exactly what needed to be said. x

[outlander]

no @Phoenix_Rising i wouldnt, its just me. i just cant see reason, i just i dont know anymore. 

[outlander]

sorry your post got eaten @Owlunar thank you for understanding. 

[Phoenix_Rising]

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@outlander wrote:

no @Phoenix_Rising i wouldnt, its just me. i just cant see reason, i just i dont know anymore. 

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@outlander Hmmm...that doesn't really make sense to me. So...you think you are a monster for doing something that you know would not make you think someone else was a monster. I wonder why you feel the need to judge yourself more harshly than you would judge others.

I'm off to bed now. I hope you have a peaceful night @outlander.

[Former-Member]

@outlander,I wouldnt tolerate today anyone abusing an animal,and I would rather not work there if that kind of animal cruelty went on there.If it happens again ,record it on video.I would like to spend 5 minutes with that person .

[Former-Member]

@outlanderI understand how hard it is to see reason sometimes and we do judge ourselves a lot harder than other. We are our own worse critics. Sitting right next to you tonight 

[outlander]

Sis @Sans911 I dont know how to stop expecting so much. I dont even realise that. Im so use to doing everything for everyone its un-natural if I dont. I dont know how to stop punishing myself. I just cant help it. I always feel like I deserve it. I aways feel like I fail. I cant even look at my sister. My sisters are one of my greatest casues of my anxiety as bad as that sounds but its the truth. I cant look at them I cant do anything around them.

It so hard. Its tiring and I just cant keep up with it all the time.

Right now it hurts to just breathe. To live.

I dont want to survive, id rather live and I just cant do it. Ive tried so hard and I always seem to end up back here. I just want to change for the better. To be a better person. To be able to look at my sisters without holding back tears.

The tears are streaming now. They wont stop. Its seems like an endless amount coming out.

[outlander]

yeah @Phoenix_Rising thats the way it goes. 

good night sleep well xoxo

@Former-Memberif it happens again shes kicked off the property. they get one warning and this was it so one more and shes gone. 

im so tired of fighting @Former-Member i just want a peaceful night or day.  it wont be happening tonight thats for sure unless i tire myself out with tears

[Sans911]

@outlander Aww hun. I hear your struggles, I hear your fears and your hurts. I'm sitting right here next to you with @Former-Member. We've got our arms around. You are loved and cared about. Even if it's doesn't seem quite real, it is. Let the tears fall. Let them go