I'm in a nest

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @Former-Member, Just sneaking in to see how your day is going. I haven't forgotten our conversation from the mindfulness thread - just struggling with a wonky brain right now, as I think perhaps you are too?

Yes, helpful things have started to happen. If you ever wondered what changing the world looks like @Former-Member, sometimes it looks like the super gigantic muddle that is playing out in Forum Land right now. Changing the world is HARD - but so worth it if the world gets changed in positive ways.

The super awesome @Faith-and-Hope (who I definitely plan to be like when I grow up) started this thread to begin unmuddling the muddle. Forum Changes. It can take a little while to change the world, but this looks like as good as any place to start!

I feel utterly exhausted, but I'm hoping that perhaps tomorrow I will be ready to join the clean-up crew here in Forum Land. The next installment of the DBT thread is looking sort-of kind-of non-existent right now...and that's completely ok. We just had to do a slight diversion from mindfulness to distress tolerance. All is well - even when it isn't.

[Former-Member]

I am so wiped, @Phoenix_Rising and I am struggling with some very big, very dark feelings. 🙁 Thanks for checking in with me. I saw @Faith-and-Hope’s new thread (thanks Faith-and-Hope) and I am pleased to hear that some helpful things have started to happen, too. 🌷🐢

I am having really big feelings around unhelpful helping and outright non-helping (mostly in the really real world but carrying over to here, too) but I don’t feel like I can talk about them.

I hope that this part of the muddle will become more unmuddled for you in the coming days/weeks. (I want to say more but it feeds into the stuff above and it feels unsafe to talk about.)

@CheerBear I hope you are doing as okayish as you can be, but appreciate that that is probably not very okayish at all. 🙁 I’m thinking of you with my broken brain and hurty heart. 🌷🦄

@Maggie, @Zoe7 and all others in the nest, I hope the day has been kinder (kind-ish?) to you. 🌷

[Faith-and-Hope]

💐💕 @Former-Member ....

[CheerBear]

Thank you heaps to all for stopping past today, and for your incredibly kind words and pictures (and the funny laugh-cry one).

Today has truly been one of the most heart pain ones for a long time. I'm seriously hurting and big time struggling tonight. I'm feeling so lost and very, very alone. So alone. My heart feels broken in a way that is way more to do with everyone and everything else I have lost, aside from my person today (which would have been enough anyway). To have seen the support here today has helped take some of that alone away.

I don't know what to do now or where to go to from here. I will work it out, but it is suffocatingly painful tonight. Everything inside me was screaming to not come back here ever again and I spent quite a bit of time feeling mad at myself for feeling close to people because it has been so soooooo painful to lose people that I don't want to do it anymore. Life would be so much easier if I could do it without an annoying need for human contact and connection. Thank you for making it almost impossible to disconnect from the world @Faith-and-Hope, @Teej (I have a ridiculously cool story and photo for you another time), @Maggie, @Former-Member (🌸🌷💚 for the wiped out - I am too. We can be wiped out together if you'd like), @Sans911, @Former-Member, @outlander, @Phoenix_Rising (and I big time laugh cried, thank you). Really big time thank you for being here today.

I am missing everyone and everything so so much at the moment 🙁

[Former-Member]

💜💗💟💚💛💙❤💕 😙

🌷🌺🌹🌼🌸🌻🌷🌺🌹🌼🌸🌻

@CheerBear ☕🍰

[outlander]

@CheerBear

[frog]

I have been very quiet lately but I just wanted to say @CheerBear @Former-Member @Phoenix_Rising I am thinking of you. I feel like everything's slipping from under me these days so I retreat and go quiet. I'm just going to curl up and send restful vibes to everyone in the nest.

[CheerBear]

@Former-Member - lots of these 💗💗💗 for you. And one of these waiting for when we can catch up in real time ☕ It's gotta get a bit less full on soon, surely?! Bugs for you and D.

Love the twinkly @outlander, thanks 😊

I'm curling up in bed at the moment, thinking I'll be up ridiculously early if I go to sleep now but I'm too tired to do anything else @frog. Sending you restful vibes for your curling up also. Sorry things sound tricky at the moment for you.

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear

You can borrow my turtle to cuddle tonight:

And you, turtle and I will sit together in your grief.

[CheerBear]

Big tears again, giant ones. Better out than in yeah?
Thank you @Phoenix_Rising.