I'm in a nest

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @CheerBear, Here is the post I attempted to post earlier today. Maybe I forgot to hit "post" - I found it sitting in the drafts bit. Silly puddled brain! 

Good morning @CheerBear, I will be thinking of you a lot today as you navigate such a tricky day. I'm super glad that I can come along in your handbag. You mentioned that there will be tissues in this handbag with me. It is totally ok to cry if you need to during any of your adventures today and I will sit right beside you while you do...just make sure you put the used tissues in a different part of your handbag!

I'm super glad that you get to have a voice today in this interview. It made my tummy churn when I read how you have felt you have needed to shut up and suck it up since the big bang. That's not ok and people need to know that it's not ok. You and your LF deserve the very best of care and support!

I liked your description of Noodle. My old boy is also one for wanting to help but not knowing quite how. Whereas his brother who went to the Rainbow Bridge last year used to lie sphinx-like on my chest and thus help me regulate my breathing, (P)'s version of helping is to sit on my face and nearly suffocate me. As a total aside and because you are my trusted not-friend...(P) is thirteen years old and terminally ill. He got sick five weeks after his brother went to the Rainbow Bridge in December last year. For a couple of months it seemed that his passing was imminent. However, he is now stable and happy due to my awesome vet. We have no idea how long the current medication regime will keep him happy. When it ceases, I will hold him while the vet helps him make safe passage across the Rainbow Bridge. I don't know why I'm telling you this today @CheerBear, it just feels right. (P)'s passage across the Rainbow Bridge is X. You don't need to say anything - I just wanted to tell you.

Anyway, I super hope today goes as well as it can. I super hope you come out of the with the cool empowered feeling and perhaps that will carry you through your other adventures today. I will be right there beside you, enjoying the positive bits where you have a voice, and stomping around in your handbag angry and frustrated if anyone adds to the muddle of my awesome not-friend.

Remember to breathe: Inhale, exhale, repeat. You've got this.

[Shaz51]

hello @Former-Member, @CheerBear, @Phoenix_Rising, @outlander 

Sending you hugs for today

[CheerBear]

I'm sunk. That was shattering. I was asked questions about what life including housing was like before being part of the program and what it is like now. I was asked about my hopes and ability to make plans for the future now I am in this house. Whether there had been any changes to my independence and mental health since being part of the program. Whether I felt safe in the house and in the neighbourhood...

I spoke honestly and openly and managed to hold back all my big tears until almost the end but then it all broke out.

It was supposed to be an anonymous interview and at the end the interviewer said he felt he needed to speak with the organisation about my experiences and asked for consent to do that in a whatever the opposite way to anonymous is. I wasn't thinking and said yes, and now regret it. I could have caused way more problems for myself in doing so and want to take it back now.

I'm in a car park stuck to the chair of my car feeling so so sad 😞 I tried to call my CM to speak to her about it but she's not there at the moment. I wish that life was different and that none of this had happened.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Oh no @CheerBear ...... ❣️

Can you go back in, or ring back, and withdraw your consent ?

[Mazarita]

Echoing @Faith-and-Hope's suggestion to you, @CheerBear. If it was me, I would immediately ring and withdraw consent to the lack of anonymity. Hugs to you. So sorry you are going through this. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Please try @CheerBear ...... it will take a little while for them to organise their communication with the organisation hopefully, which gives you a window to take this action. Please call them and try.

[CheerBear]

I don't think so @Faith-and-Hope. I don't know how to get hold of him. Thinking brain is turning on - I guess it can't really get much worse than it is with the house anyway. It's not like kicking us out of the program is an option unless they want to help find us another house, which is what we need anyway. I think the housing organisation knowing how bad things are for us is a minor issue really in the bigger scheme of worries.

[CheerBear]

Even if I could get hold of him, he said they'd know who I was based on my answers anyway @Mazarita and @Faith-and-Hope. Ugh 😞

[Shaz51]

ohh @CheerBear, we are with you

[Mazarita]

@CheerBear, it seems unlikely that the result of this would be you getting kicked out of the house. If they were able to find you a new one, all the better. But I don't really understand any of the details of what you went through today. So really, just sending love, support and strength to help you deal with the aftermath of emotions you are feeling just now.