My special place

[Ru-bee]

I'm knitting a sort of hood/balaclava thing @Snowie getting ready for winter! Do you have any projects or crafts you've been working on lately?

And that's just prompted me to go and put a load of washing on so at least I can get that sorted when I finish work tonight. 

Sleep in sounds delightful! I bet sleeping in turns into something quite elusive with kids around 😋

Yeah, I'm surprised with how much pressure I've felt just from myself and thinking of societal expectations and wondering if there's something wrong with not wanting to do something extravagant or if it's not going to be special if we don't want it a certain way. My counsellor gave me a good phrase to repeat in those moments though: "According to who?" and it's actually been really helpful

[Snowie]

I hope it is ready for winter then @Ru-bee You still have some time to go.

Not really into crafty things. I used to make felt works, but haven't for awhile.

Probably the closet is doing jigsaw puzzles. 

That is a good saying from your counsellor. It's your life. You should be able to live it the way you want.

My mum keeps saying things about all my tattoos. She doesn't like them and thinks others will judge me. When she brings it up (which is frequently) I always tell her 'my body, my choice' and I don't care what others think.

Can I ask you a question about s**cide? (I know I have guidelines to follow)

[Ru-bee]

Yes, I had similar battles with my mum about my tattoos @Snowie luckily, I'm the youngest of 3 and my older siblings also have tattoos so by the time I had decided to start getting them she had maybe started to accept that we were all going to do what we wanted to do with our bodies. Still copped a lot of comments and disapproving looks.

I just never got why anyone would think it's a good idea to negatively comment on a tattoo after you've gotten it (unless its horribly offensive of course), it's not as if those comments will turn back time and prevent it from happening. 

Sure thing, what is it?

[Shaz51]

Hello @Snowie 

with having dementia , she will get stuck on one thing for a while before changing to something else , makes it hard for us the loved ones 

my aunty got her first tattoo at 87 and her daughter had a shocked by it 

but it is so tiny , my husband who has lots of tattoos said thats not a tattoo 

@Ru-bee 

[Snowie]

My mum once said to me 'girls shouldn't have tattoos' As if that makes any difference.

Have been planning my next one for awhile now.

Got some more piercings the other day too. It's funny, had to hold hubby's hand for them but can sit through a whole session for a tattoo!

D is taking after me!

@Shaz51 there are days where I just don't cope. I really hope we get the approval for respite soon so she can try that.

I have lots, small ones and big ones.

@Ru-bee How do you stop the want to follow through be stronger than the want to still be here?

All I get is people say think of my kids/family. When is that not enough?

(Sorry if it is too heavy, don't feel you have to answer it)

[Ru-bee]

That's not too heavy of a question @Snowie I think it's a really honest thing to want an answer to, though it is a tricky one to answer. 

I'm a bit worried that I'm not going to have enough time to do it justice right now because I am about to have to go into a meeting for the last hour of my day and I wouldn't want to just give you a cliche response. I wonder if you mind me tagging in @tyme @rav3n here to get their thoughts? 

[Snowie]

Thanks @Ru-bee understand, hope your meeting goes well.

[Ru-bee]

Thank you, I'm a bit disappointed to have to run off now @Snowie it's been great chatting today

I'll catch you after the weekend, at which point I'll have hopefully had enough time to think about how to articulate my thoughts on this question! Take care xx

[rav3n]

hey there @Snowie 💗

for me, having milestones or even small goals to look forward to helped me at times - i want to be there when my sister gets married, and i want to travel to certain countries, etc. but if these goals weren't enough to hold onto, i tried to remember that the unpredictable nature of life means that literally tomorrow, or next month, or next year - my life could be drastically different. i could be living a better life, and i wouldn't get to experience it if i don't push through today. there's usually a pattern of things getting hard/worse before they get better, so i try to remember that the exhaustion and difficulty i feel now, means that things are going to be better soon. we've spent so much time and energy into being here, we have people rooting for us keeping going - and sometimes wanting to make them proud helps me keep going. and other times just realising life is so short in the grand scheme of things, and that there are others in different circumstances like war who would envy the life i have so they could explore the world, hug their family, watch sunsets, cook their fav meals, etc - that change in perspective helps me fight, it's almost like 'i'm going to try live my life to the fullest for those who can't'. 

ultimately, you deserve a chance at living your dream life and you're definitely worthy of good things.

i do wanna say that this is what works for me - i know it doesn't work for everyone, but i hope some parts of it might be helpful? apologies if it doesn't, i know this can be heavy to discuss at times, but i'm here if you wanna chat more 💗