RE: Darkness surrounds me

[Sans911]

@Former-Member I understand re:Blue Knot. I wasn't sure of what they could offer. I'm sorry. I just feel really helpless right now, as I don't know what to say to you that would offer comfort or be thoughtful words. It just seems so frigging awful that you have to deal with this stuff that leaves you stressed, sleepless and afraid of what's next.

I'm struggling with sleep again tonight. Going over everything in detail re:appt tommorow morning. I'm getting quite worked up.

So I'm awake for a bit if you want to talk. Otherwise I'm 'here' as perhaps a comforting presence.

[Former-Member]

@Sans911, sorry ended up falling asleep for about an hour. DO NOT be sorry, you have nothing to be sorry about. You help me more than you realise you do. I think you always give great advice on theses forums, to myself included. We all have things we are trying to deal with and I think most would feel afraid of what’s next.

if I don’t talk to you again between now and you app. I hope it goes as best as it can but I do understand how daunting appointments can be.

@Sans911 I am here for you too when you need that support or just someone to sit with you. Please be aware that just the thought of you close to me is enough to help and comfort  me. 💜💜💜💜

[Former-Member]

I hope your appointment today goes well for you @Sans911,and you get the crisis support.I think you need to somehow deal and confront the elephant in the room regarding your housemate,as it is putting a stress on you that you don't need.To me in my lifetime,the feeling of someone using you is toxic.

@Former-Member,sorry you are struggling too my friend.👤

[outlander]

@Former-Member 💜💛💚

[Former-Member]

So went to the GP this morning for workcover paperwork. Whilst in there she was asking a few questions about how I was going, that sort of thing. Nothing really probing but then BAMM, had a flashback right in front of her. Went right out of it and and was not present in the real time at all. She told me afterwards what I did. I'm not sure who got more of a shock, her or me. I was so embarassed afterwards.  I have always been by myself or if I have been in front of someone I have been able to control them enough not for people to notice. 

HAS ANYONE HAD THAT HAPPEN TO THEM BEFORE?? 

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member Yes have had that happen more than a few times Nell. A couple of times with my GP, several times with my psychologist and once with my psychiatrist. Also a couple of times at work when doing PD - that was the hardest as I was in a room with around 100 people but a colleague was sitting next next to as she was aware that I was extremely anxious about the PD and where it was being held (the place itself was triggering for me). The colleague didn't know why I was so anxious but knew it was a massive issue for me to be there.

Many years ago I was also taken to hospital by my counsellor after having a flashback whilst with her and going into a catatonic state - didn't come out of it for over an hour. 

There is absolutely nothing to be embarassed about @Former-Member - infact it is probably a good thing that it happened for you whilst seeing your GP as she now can see what a massive impact things are having on you 

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Zoe7
It makes me feel a bit better knowing others have too (even though i wish you didnt go through that)
She said i was mumbling to myself, rocking back and forth, rapid breathing and shaking. I did not even know i was doing all of that stuff. 😔

[Zoe7]

I wish you didn't either @Former-Member  I completely understand the rapid breathing and shaking  I also feel extremely sick and have difficulty swollowing. I tend to have more 'inward' reactions rather than those easily seen outwardly (apart from the breathing and shaking). 

[Faith-and-Hope]

I agree with @Zoe7 ..... it makes a difference for therapists to actuallly see what you're up
against. They need to know how hard it is for you to see what they are treating @Former-Member.

[outlander]

Hi @Former-Member yes i too have had that sort of experience but like @Zoe7 i have more internal reactions rather than the external except the shaking breathing and i have been told i fidget with my hands. Ive had it happen a fair few times includibg in hospital. It feels quite embarrassing but your not alone and many others have experienced this too 💜💜