when is it time for hospital

[outlander]

The one i wanted would pass for here @Owlunar
I dont even think that heart is broken enough its still identifiable as a heart mines not and neitgers6the rest of me. Im just one very small -thats all i mean to people - pile of completly broken materials


I feel like shite @Owlunar and i can tell how much the depression has taken over because im not shaking.not one bit infact the opposite hardly moving rxcept my fingers over my phone keyboard now.
Im tired but why cant i sleep

[outlander]

Am i really that unlovable?
I wish i had some one here with me in life form vut its a hard wish to ask for i suppose and when not worthy of it and even more unlikely to happen

[Owlunar]

People need to be seen as worthwhile @outlander and you are being emotionally abused by your mum's bf and your mother and this is crap

I will have to go to bed soon - and you need to sleep too

Are you feeling any better since you went to bed? You were afraid of the discussion that was going to take place and it's confirmed that they have this control over you - and that's depressing

You are in a bad place - really bad - but as you don't feel free to walk out - and don't have anywhere to go - that is really hard for you and I have no idea what to suggest

Dec

[outlander]

I dont know what sleep is anymore @Owlunar
And no not really. Im as flat as a pancake and i know if i dont move every now my back neck and hip wil lock and thats the last thing i need right now.
If i had somewhere to go id already be gone but i dont.

[Owlunar]

I would not like to you leave where you are and have no where to go - that would not be at all safe

You have seen a lot of people in various fields about your situation - can you return to Centrelink and try again to get someone to see that you are in a potentially dangerous situation with your SI - 

The way you are living is in no way good for your health

Dec

[outlander]

Thry will throw me in hospital and them record it on their records and their would go my job @Owlunar

Im scared and tired and defeated
Why wont it stop. I just want to sleep and i cant even do that.
And i wouldn't want to be me either. I cant believe he had the nerve to say i have it easy. The next step for.me is to be out on the streets

[Owlunar]

Why would you lose your job @outlander

Living on the streets is very dangerous - more so for girls but bad for boys even - I know this from my son's life on the streets - you would be in a very unsafe place

I can't think of anything else to suggest - only that you talk to a therapist about standing up for yourself more - 

These conversations we have been having sound very true and very real to me - I only wish I was able to help you in some real way.

Dec

[outlander]

Thats what ive been told @Owlunar because then id be too mentally unstable
And yes these convos are very real.

Im soo tired. I can barely type. I can only hope that I go to sleep soon.will u sit or hold my hand or foot or wherver u want for abit

[Owlunar]

You're being driven into a state of mental instability because of the way you are being treated by that bully of a man your mother has handed you over too - and it's very shabby treatment @outlander

You do have so many good qualities - and I know you don't see this but you do - 

You need more help than you are accepting actually - because you have been mentally ill-treated for some time - and this hasn't let you have the life and social skills young women of your age should have normally by this time. 

It seems to me you are being severely mentally and emotional damaged by a bully - and your mother is allowing this so maybe she is being dominated also - and this is a really dangerous situation

I am seriously concerned for you tonight

Dec

[Owlunar]

I have to go to bed myself soon @outlander

I have sent two messages to the moderators asking if they can be with you on-line tonight - for now anyway - if you need to will you contact them yourself?

Actually I am hoping that you have gone to sleep.

I know your situation seems hopeless atm - and really feels as if there is no way to grasp the future that is there for you in time

If you are awake please let me know if you are okay - or can message a moderator yourself

Dec