when is it time for hospital

[outlander]

Does anyone ever get the feeling something is wrong but you dont know what it is? I know its probably nothing but its really bothering me
@Owlunar @Former-Member @Sans911 @Queenie @Former-Member @Ant7

[Sans911]

@outlander quite often I don't know why I feel the way I do. Sometimes you just have to sit with with, don't analyse it, just notice it and where in your body it feels uncomfortable. If it really bothers you, maybe do something to distract you for a while

[Former-Member]

Good Morning my beautiful Claire @outlander 🙂

What a roller-coaster ride that was! But I'll tell you something . . . I'm proud of you for riding it!! I think there may have been a time, not that long ago, that you wouldn't even have considered it?

I think your getting stronger 🙂

Life is always changing, sometimes it's that slow you don't notice it, sometimes it's that fast you can't comprehend it, but it never stops changing. You will not be stuck in the same situation forever.

How's your foot going?

I'm going to pack my car today, although the skies covered in grey clouds 😞 If you don't mind I might just use you to motorvate me. The only thing that stops me going is me . . . and I'm going to step out of my way 🙂 . . . to show you it can be done 😄

Lots of love to you

Niqua

[BlueBay]

Hi @outlander

Just a quick hello before my daughter's baby shower party today.

Been thinking how you are this morning??  I really hope you are okay.  You have been on my mind this morning.

Love and hugs to you beautiful

BB xxxooo

[outlander]

Good morning everyone @Shaz51@Former-Member@Sans911@Former-Member@BlueBay and everyone

feeling pretty yuk today and flat. Guess its to be expected. I cant believe ive had 7 panic attacks in as little as 4 days 😞 I guess they are making up for lost time- like its saying how dare you control your anxiety before you panic! Not sure what the plans are just got back from my morning work and ill be bacl there at about 3pm again so ive got few hours to do something. Might go for a gentle walk today.

goodmorning @Sans911
it was really uncomfortable. Its like having overwhelming pain but its running through the veins and you can feel it. But in your stomach and heart its almost hmm empty. I dont know its really hard to explain. It makes me squirm all the time and I cant sit with it because of it. I was on here for a bit then played a game on my phone and it took me forever to get to sleep.

Goodmorning @Former-Member

im always on a roller coaster ride it seems. It never seems to stop and these past few days have been horrendous! Yes there was a time I wouldnt have even considered it so I guess its a step even if it destroys me. I can only hope my situation changes soon and will stay changing but right now it seems the only one changing is me.

Ahh yes this stupid foot of mine. Ive been on strong pain killers for the past few days. I went off them the other day but wow the pain was just like it was when I first did it a few yrs ago so I went back on them. Ive been trying to take things easy and ease back into things seems ive done an ok job at that and resting where I can. Ive been able to reduce the meds abit now which is good, im not rushing coming off them though, just slowly reducing them. Gosh so much has happened I dont even know how many weeks ive been out of hospital! I think its about 2... wow ok.
But it is slowly easing. Im still limping though nothing unusal. Itll get there eventually.

I know you can do it Niqua. I have full faith in your capabilities, strength and determination. I hope your camping trip goes well.

Goodmorning @BlueBay

thank you for checking in on me. I hope youve been ok... Im worn out but im ok. Still recovering from last night and the past few days.
I hope your daughters baby shower goes well. I bet your having trouble containing your excitement. This little baby is going to be so lucky and so spoilt.

[Owlunar]

HI @outlander

I do know what it feels like to know there is something wrong and not know what it is - and it's unnerving to say the least

Often I have found that something is wrong - it's really hard to explain premonitions - but yes - in your case I can tell what's one of the things that a wrong for you

That's your toxic environment - but again - what to do - what the hell do you do

Well - without trying I made life really unpleasant for my mother - I am glad I found that way but one thing about that - it was a very uncomfortable way to live - I never could please that woman and stopped trying

You have the future Outlander - all you need to do is to hold on until your mother moves out - 

Awwwww - that is so tough - I know

Dec

[Sans911]

@outlander I'm not surprised you feel so flat today. You've been through such a battle recently. Hang in there; we've got you close to our 💕 hearts. I really, really care about you like a younger sister. You matter a great deal in my heart. Sometimes we have to ride that icky roller coaster of highs & lows, even if others don't change. Just keep putting one tiny foot in front of the other. Yes, some days you'll stumble and fall. But just get up and keep going. I'll always be here.

[Former-Member]

Hi @outlander!
Hope you got a walk,was going but it started raining,now fine but cold,wish I went,bit low per usual.Hope the gardens were nice.

[outlander]

@Owlunar  yay your back! though im glad you enjoyed your holiday

i have not a clue what to do honestly.  im trying to hold on, its so friggin hard though! and it makes for a very uncomfortable way to live, i can imagine how you mustve felt considering it seems your past and my current life and almost matching to a T hey.

being here is something thats keeping me going, people on here have gotten me out of trouble a few times i can tell you that. ive had very bad thoughts and expressed some of them on here and i can tell you i had myself worried looking back. it worries me how close i was quite a few times to never being back here. never living, and if it didnt take me then it was going to be an even more unpleasant life.

ive gotta keep looking up otherwise the floor comes and gets me very quickly as it has the past few days.

[outlander]

@Sans911 you always seem to have the right words.   you can be my Big sister 

i hope my roller coaster will stay relativley flat at least for a few days. i know next week ill probably stumble yet again as i have to get these spots checked but right now im prioritising. im not going to worry about the spots right now. they wont change in a matter of a few days. and it could turn out to be nothing right..

you mean alot to me too and im really appreciative that you are here as well