they said why do you need them and i said becasue i want to actaully sleep and to reduce some of the side effects.
mums bf- where are you getting them from, what are they, whats the name of them,
me- im getting them from my gp from a chemist- i dont know the name of them (small white lie)
mums bf- so you jsut need sleeping tablets
me- no- i need anti depressants so im going back on them
him- why dont you sleep
me- becasue im a freaking insomniac!
him- so out of all those tablets i threw out one of those were sleeping tablets
me- yep
him- walk out of room and low and behold brings all of my medications back out!
which one is it
i looked and told him what all of them were and i said theses- ones- are the sleeping tablets
him- so not antidepressants
me- sleeping mixed in wiht mood stabilisers (anti-psychotics) so both in the one tablet
him- so no ADs
me- nope i jsut told you what they were
him- ok you can have them back
gee thanks for that. cant friggin take them with the new medications im on as they are for sleep anyway. so pretty useless. glad i hid those medications.
convo continues:
him- you dont need them and i dont want you on the ADs
me- well i do and i need to be on them
him- no you dont
me- yes i do
him- why
me- i just told you why
looks at me blankly- me repeats-becasue i dont sleep and i want to reduce some of the physical side effects of anxiety
him- you dont need ADs and i dont want you on them
me- yes i do
him- you know your life isnt that hard, you make it all up in your head. you need to stop looking into the past and figure out what to do with your life now. youve got a horse now do that and stop listening to those other so called health professionals
him- you still think you need ADs
me- yep
him- again- your life isnt that hard you actually have it pretty good
my mother stayed quiet the whole time and didnt stick up for me or anything. not one word
oh except for- im no workign on friday you cna go to bf mums house on thursday if you want. im not safe there now either.
i was so angry but now im so upset its hard to hold the tears back, im in bed now hiding under the covers as i do. im defeated. it wont be the first or the last time i cry myself to sleep, might help me sleep from exhaustion.
then while im in bed. im on my comp now and aas im on the top bunk with no rungs- i climb up the cupboard to get up here, i asked my middle sister if she could get my comp charger.
her- no
me- please
her- yeah eventually
me- can you get it now for me before my comp dies
her- why dont you just get off the computer
me- becasue im doing stuff
her- what stuff
me- does it concern you
her- i was just asking
me- im working
her- no response
me- can you please go get it for me its about to die
her- yeah eventaully- she also continues to play her game plus start a new one
me- fne ill get it- had to scamper back down get it and then climb back up
im completely shattered and have no fight in me at all.
i cant tell them that im going to see my pschologist tomorrow- cause shes in the catagory- so called health professionals. at this point in time i dont want to go either. i want to run away, from here from everything but its ok my life is easy
@Owlunar@Anony18@eth@Former-Member@STORMGRL101@Former-Member
