when is it time for hospital

[Sans911]

@outlanderI just lost a really long post. Dammit. Anyway, don't feel too bad, you still have time yet to stand up to your mother. And you still have time to make those changes when you are stronger. You never stop learning, never stop changing. As I head to my 50s, I have many changes in my life to make, including better relations/dealings with my mother. You have an early start, you'll get there well before me @outlander. Enjoy some time in the wombat hole with @Former-Member. I will send a care package of chocolate, but just don't take any Nutella, or you'll have almost the whole tribe of Forumites down there with you.

[MDT]

@outlander!

I hope you are doing okay atm

In terms of standing up for yourself... i find that setting up lists helps a hell of a lot.

Set up a list of short term things and then a list for long term goals as well

i empathise with you in regard to trying new things and finding no joy in them. This has happened to me in the past week and it is why it was so shitty. I must learn to pace myself and have realistic expectations. This is something I share often on my other forum. But I've gone quiet on that because this one tends to have more people on it.

Work in weeks as well. Plan out what needs to happen for that individual week and what you hope to achieve.

Having realistic expectations about trying new things is essential too. If you go into things with the expectation that they will revolutionise your moods it won't work. I know that's probably obvious, but it's something i often forget.

I hope these ideas help you somewhat!

[Shaz51]

Did someone say CHOCOLATES @Sans911, @outlander, @MDT, @Former-Member. @Ant7

[Former-Member]

Yes Shaz51,we love chocolate.Lucky we all have such good figures.... Not!lolSo good for the four breasts I've got at the moment due to the Cortisol hormone!lol

[outlander]

dammit @Sans911 i hate when that happens.

but i need that strength now, im not sure when things are going to change becasue im too chicken to open my mouth. i want to get a way for a while but im not sure when. have to make sure pops of first. he comes first. but im tried and worn out and i cant keep relying on hospital to keep saving me and then nothing changes on the outside like the past 2 times. i dont get it. how can someone who is mentally unwell keep getting this crap piled on.

i have to stop self harming before it gets to the point it was before which required treatments and i ahte having that done becasue its really hard to hide. ive managed to do that twice though. not proud of that at all but thigns get to the point that i cant control it and it starts to scare the crap out of me.

i need to 'get a life' as everyone keeps telling me to do but how am i suppose to do that if i cant tell my head from my toes half the time because of the state im in. i jsut dont get it

i know youll get there, your stronger and more powerful than you think you are. use those to your advantage

[outlander]

lol @Former-Member@Shaz51

[outlander]

oh not really @MDT

im still here though. not quite 'with' it if you get what i mean. pretty worn down tbh. i suppsoe 3 panic attacks do that though.

i genrally write a lsit of what ive got on in my diary. it always so full and id be bloody hopeless if i lost a page cause theres so much i ahve to eb doing thankfully it alot of routine things now so its jsut automatic and know what ive got to do.

yeah i often forget im a human and have alot of unrealisitc expectations of myself so really im setting myself up to fail

[Former-Member]

yes @outlander,I have always had others opinions on my life,lived by what was reflected back by others.Big mistake,f***** up from it,and loss my life further.Thats one of the reasons I haven't spoken to a Uncle for many years.I now am lost.Do what's right for you,which can be f**** hard like today.Make a promise to yourself that after your Mum's holiday you are going to start having a life away from family.

[Former-Member]

Talk tomorrow 🙋

[outlander]

i think thats how im living too @Former-Member but i dont really know how to do that

i cant make promises to myself. i always screw up. i can promise someone the world and ill stick to that but me pfft i can hardly keep a daily goal at the moment.

i am going to go away for a few days though. i can still work but i wont be watching the kids and  i wont be at home. my pop will be ok for a few days. theres always someone around unless hes sick and i wont go but if hes ok im going