when is it time for hospital

[outlander]

ill tag you into it @Sans911

[soul]

Love your photos from today @outlander. There's something very uplifting about nature isn't there? So glad that you have had a better day today. Keep them coming.

[Owlunar]

Hi @outlander

Yes - I have had some rough times in my life and this is my message - maybe my gift - to you

This will not last forever - you are fighting and this is a good thing as rough as it is right now

Things will change - when they do it might seem worsre - but in truth change and growth can hurt - 

But there is something for you beyond all this - and I can't tell you when that will start - but it will

Those bad thoughts - people have them - some let them take over and maybe you have been close - but I see more in you than that and I keep insisting you will find life different

btw - your mother is at blame here - nothing you have done - it was all totally outside your control

hugs sent

Dec

[outlander]

i hate being the bearer of bad news but ive had another realisation. i dont even know how to say it on here. it sounds so stupid and i cant believe i feel for all those tricks 😞

i dont feel so good, i think im going to be sick 😞

i wish i was back in nature now @soul

[outlander]

i can only hope theres a better life for me @Owlunar these stupid revelations im having never seem to ease and ive had another one 😞

[Former-Member]

Looks like you like daisies too @outlander!I have the yellow one,it's a African one,the other two are unique.Glad you had a harmonious day with bun fights.😉

[outlander]

thanks @Former-Member

im not in a great mood, im in the pits again

had another revelation about my abuse and i dont know how to feel about it.

[Former-Member]

Don't worry @outlander, I've just came out of my dark bedroom so if we are both low may as well be miserable together.

[outlander]

I remember i  took up boxing and fight classes while I was in school and when the abuse was happening and it did make me a lot stronger but I was never strong enough either mentally or physically to stop the abuse. That was all I wanted. Was It to stop. Actually whoa ook hit me like a truck! Ok this one might take a bit to get out but im finding if I just say it itll get out.
But there was a night I said I wanted things to stop and he said..............if I did he would..... commit suicide.

what sort of a person says that!!!!!!

[Former-Member]

It was a form of psychological control @outlander,bit like my sicko who at 16 after brought up my weight and his sex life with his wife.It is abuse ,a very sick form of intimidation and control.