when is it time for hospital

[outlander]

Thanks for telling me that @Former-Member. That is something to consider. I know its not ideal but as you said better than being at home

[outlander]

And this psych thing is stressing me out!!

[Owlunar]

That shaking is possibly a nervous reaction @outlander - I get that - I have had that one myself a long time ago - it's really scary - I understand

There are things that tell me how bad things are and this shaking this one - of course you are not comfortable anywhere - things at home are intolerable

I feel so much for you - and that shelter - it was okay - I was safe there - and I had a room to myself with a key - several beds - and I had the whole room to myself - and I got a good night's sleep - so shelters are a stepping stone

There was a young woman who was living there - I remember - she wanted me to stay but I had my own life to deal with - and that wasn't easy at all - but I will never forget that young woman and I often wonder what happened to her - but she was mostly lonely I think

Most of the people there - males - were out during the day and I went home because it was my son who was scaring me and he would have sobered up over night - but still - it is not fun at all

Dec

[outlander]

It is very scary @Owlunar it scares the life out of me bot that i have much of a life.
I get like this more often than not. Its always night time thats the worst so stops me sleeping as well
I just want somewhere safe and comfortable where i sn have someone who i trust there too

[outlander]

I thought id be braver by now @Owlunar but all this stuff snd my Mental state still scares the crap out of me

[Owlunar]

Imagine you can melt through a screen and find a unit that is comfortable and clean - with a couch in a front room that is full of furniture but there are enough blankets and spare pillows etc to make up a reasonable bed - and a cat might sleep with you - but I doubt it.

It's rather cold in that room which is why the back bedroom is the room of better choice - but it is quiet and private and you can trust the householder entirely

Perhaps the anonymity of these Forums is a good idea - I feel as if I am interferring between you and your mother as it is - but for some reason I totally believe you - I think your story doesn't tumble over spaces in the truth - it has a continuity you could not make up if you were being dishonest

But there is a room here with a couch - and food enough - I wish this could be a safe place for you

And yet - I am a total stranger - and this is a dream - but if it helps - dream - this is safe - 

Dec

[Owlunar]

@outlander

Among the worst things in the world is the uncertainty of not having a basic place to stand - to not know where the next bout of chaos will come from and how it will appear

It is not healthy to live that way - I have to ask - what causes Mental Illness and I think yours is from having your freedoms - your right to privacy - your right to have your choices and your natural priviledges taken from you

I think the way you are being treated is causing all this and making it worse - that's what I am reading when I follow your threads

I have to go to bed now - I am falling asleep on my computer - for several nights my ingrown toenail was waking me up everytime I moved in bed but it is settling now - the infection is clearing up - so I hope I can sleep

But I am taking your heart to bed with me - and I care about you - and I wish I could give more than just an opinion 

Lots of hugs Outlander - I will read all your posts if I am awake during the night or in the morning

Dec

[outlander]

Oh @Owlunar i really wish i could be there with you. Cat or no cat. Your so caring and understanding and i appreciate everything you advize and everything. Please know your not in the way of me and my mother. Whatever happens happens i suppose..

I dont get what you mean by my story doesnt tumble in the gaps? What does that mean?

And yes you might be a total stranger yet knows me better then people in life form.

Yes my mental illness is getting worse from all this chaos and unstability among other things such as grief, my sister and the dog, SA, and my past life with horse being taken away from me, watching and caring for my nan and now my pop. Its all adding up and do you what my mother and her bf said when i said theae things are bothering me ( not the sa though)? Why do they bother you its in the past and it didnt happen to you.
Its really shown me that despite holding everyone up esp my mother through a heap of these things and taking care of my sisters. I was completley invisbile to them and they were oblivious to people. Just a like a ghost- always invisble not doing anything yet they are there.

And yes @Owlunar i dream all the time. Though atm i dont have much to imagine. Youve given me a thought path at least to somewhere safe


I hope you get a good nights sleep and that toe of yours heals too.

You can take my heart. It hurts anyway. It needs a break and it needs to heal so take it.

You can only do what you can. Sleep is more important. You really need it. Im ok i am in a safe house watching tv atm hopefully fall asleep soon too. .

[outlander]

And i love the pics @Owlunar esp the 2 butterflies one the flower

[eth]

Are you still on here @outlander?  Thinking of you and wanting to help.