Thanks
A few things come to mind that have really helped me:
- Practice accepting that having needs is ok! We live in a society that can work hard to condition us to believe that having needs is being needy- or worse- being too much! The more I practice thinking about myself as a human being that needs certain things to survive and thrive, the closer I move towards actually being able to embrace what I need.
- Knowing what your rights are can really create a solid foundation of confidence! We can be talking about consumer rights when accessing care and treatment or even thinking about what our fundamental human rights are when it comes to safety and security in relationships- with the understanding from this knowledge can challenge how we think about our needs.
- Building confidence is really hard and it can take work- especially when we exist in a world that can profit off our isolation and insecurity! When I began to learn about some of the reason why insecurities can call the shots and self-esteem is actually radical- I was able to start to give myself some grace- I wasn’t just ‘my fault’ that I wasn’t confident. The game was rigged against me. When I started to explore that there is this undercurrent of the “profitability” of insecurities in society (just think about the “wellness” industry)- something clicked and I started to understand that confidence wasn’t this passive thing that I could just have- It is a fight against how we are conditioned to move through a capitalist society.
So I have found that putting my values into action (and sometimes pushing back) is the most empowering thing I can do to feel confident within myself. Action can take so many different forms for me- caring about community, valuing honesty, practicing allyship…. There are so many things that I value- and when I choose to act in accordance with what I choose to value- that feels good.
