Lived Experience Forum

[Tranquillity]

Hi All,

A few years ago I began hearing horrifying voices, unfortunately (very nasty, shocking religious prognostications of going to eternal hell and damnation when I die, of having the devil in my heart, and purported negative insights into my life and awful events that have occurred). I've been on and off antipsychotic medication since my diagnosis. I don't like taking antipsychotic medication, especially long term, for a few reasons which I won't go into here now. Almost every psychiatrist I've seen simply wants me to be medicated, which is not what I want. 

• Anyway, I'm going through a bad patch of voice hearing now, unfortunately, and I wondered about any new treatments or therapies. Has anyone found anything to be effective apart from antipsychotics? I do find music helps and being deeply focussed on various activities. What I would like is a non drug treatment that is effective. Essentially, I want a cure. I should add that for most of my life I have not had this problem at all. It only cropped up a few years ago, in my 40's. As I understand, most people who get this tend to have it develop in late teens or 20's. So it was quite a shock for me to end up with it. I've never taken recreational drugs either.

[tyme]

Hey @Tranquillity ,

Thank you for posting. 

I can't say I have personal experience of what it's like to hear voices, but many here have posted about their experiences whether for themselves or while caring for a loved one.

I hope you find what works for you.

I guess with medication, it's about weighing up the costs and benefits. Everyone is unique. 

For me, as much as I didn't want to take medication, I realised I wouldn't have a life without it. Therefore I made the decision to take medication, including an antipsychotic. Yes it has its side effects, but I'm willing to have these if it means I can function in society. This is only my experience, and I'm in no way saying you should do the same.

I really hope you find what works for you as you deserve to live life the way you ideally want.

All the best.

[Tranquillity]

• Thank you, Thyme,

As I write to you now I'm hearing pretty horrible voices constantly accusing me of sins and saying I'm going to hell when I die—so religious in nature. A nightmare. But I no longer get scared. More simply irritated.

I'm hoping there will be better treatments in future that don't involve medications. Perhaps TMS or something like that? Maybe even gene therapy. I live in hope. 

[Tranquillity]

I must admit, I haven't looked into the experiences of other voice hearers, but my experience is that the voices can be quite often very convincingly supernatural, as though they are real external spiritual entities. But in my case, not at all nice.

The reasons for this are:

1) Second person narrative. I find this remarkable enough.

2) Turns of phrase or idioms I rarely if ever use, or are not part of my everyday thoughts or speech.

3) Religious narrative that conforms to ideas of the afterlife.

4) Enough plausibility for revealed insights.

However, on this last point, there is also a fair degree of absurdity too.

I realise that for those who are physicalists (only believing in the physical or material reality, and in this respect that mental phenomena are no more than physical brain processes), there is no supernatural and any notion of the "spiritual realm" is nothing more that mental and grounded in brain processes. For such people, something like voice hearing is not supernatural and merely a brain disorder.

But if one subscribes to dualism—not a physicalicists rendering of dualism—then the spiritual is supernatural in nature. That is, it goes beyond the physical brain and is non-material, non-local (in that it does not depend on location, which is a physical concept) and ontologically distinct, such that one can refer to spiritual entities, like "the soul".

Anyway, I respect physicalist views and I think a lot of psychiatrists simply view voice hearing as a brain disorder and nothing more. 

For me, I'm open to a supernatural source, but at the same time if I started believing the content of the voices I'd be in a very bad state mentally, in terms of being very frightened. That's how I was when this first began, but thankfully I'm no longer scared, even though the nightmare persists.

[Judi9877]

Hi there @Tranquillity . I just want to say that I’m proud of you for detailing your current situation with schizophrenia and of hearing voices. I’m a Community Guide here at SANE and I have schizophrenia myself and have heard voices in the past- predominantly when I’ve been unwell or am feeling stressed.

To be honest, I also don’t like taking medication for my condition - it reminds me that I’m not normal like others in society- but like @tyme has said in their reply, I know that they work for me as I find that the voices are either non existent or are less intrusive for me and I see that to be worth taking the medication for as I can lead a relatively normal life. At the present time, I’m yet to find a cure for my voices or how to cure my schizophrenia and its various symptoms, but I’m hopeful of something been discovered soon by the medical researchers and medical fraternity.

One of the best things I’ve learnt in my experiences with schizophrenia and hearing voices (I’ve had it for 20 years since my early 20s) was that the voices are not real and that in the end, it’s my call as to if I obey the voices or not and what I choose to do. Yes, the voices are scary and at times, frightening and very hard to ignore, but I know that I’m stronger than the voices and it’s a sign that something isn’t right in my life and I need to deal with it or the situation. That means calling out for help and working through things to make things better for me. 

I’ve had experiences of people controlling me (Melbourne lockdowns in 2021 due to covid restrictions) in the form of voices and I’ve also had voices that were harmful and derogatory and in some ways, destructive during that period. However, I was able to get help from my support team, including my housemate and psychologist at the time, and recover via an unexpected stay in hospital and an admission to PARCS here in Melbourne. It was there that I was able to get back on track and learn some strategies and new skills to help me deal with future episodes of my condition. 

To deal with my schizophrenia symptoms, I’ve found that when my voices get really bad, I tend to do the following things:

- Put some music on via my phone and listen to  certain playlist or favourite artist and that can often help drown the voices out.
- I’ve also been known to get my journal out and write the things down as it’s a great way to destress and look back on my written piece later when I’m feeling a lot more calm and relaxed. In the past, these journal entries have been helpful in that I’ve shown them to my psychologist (I no longer have them as I’m regarded as being stable) as he was able to gain an insight into my mind and what the voices were saying and therefore, how he could help me in the future. 

- I also sometimes spray some lavender or eucalyptus in my room and breathe the smell in as a way of focusing my attention on something other than the voices.
-Talking it out to my housemate or a close friend or family member is another strategy I use at times. 
- Using art to draw images or abstract things/objects of how I imagine the voices to be is a strategy I’ve been known to use as I like being creative and it also relaxes me.

- Knitting and crocheting are also other creative outlets I choose to participate in as I find I have to focus on the pattern or item I’m working on and therefore, I can’t listen to or focus on my voices.

Take care.

Judi9877

[tyme]

Hey @Tranquillity ,

Thank you for sharing. I hear how had it is to be experiencing hearing these voices. 

Do you have much support around you?

[tyme]

@Judi9877 , thank you so much for sharing your experiences. It really helps people to understand more, including myself.

[Tranquillity]

Hi Judy & others,

Thanks for your replies. Judy, I hadn't thought of aromatherapy, but I think I'll give it a try. Music certainly works very well for me most of the time, as does having good sleep. 

Yesterday, I had voices quite badly but this morning they are gone. In fact, I have an expectation that they will return but so far this morning at least, nothing. Total silence. I hope they never return and I always live in hope that this condition might just burn itself out such that they go away completely.

I've got plenty of support around me now and I'm quite used to horrifying messages so they don't worry me like they once did.

Anyway, thank you for your support and concern. Have a good week.

[Tranquillity]

Hi Judy & others,

Yesterday through the day I had some mild breakthrough symptoms. But at night it struck hard in terms of intensity and messaging. A lot of horrifying religious messaging and prognostications.

Coupled with this, I have another condition which is causing a lot of nausea and feelings of weakness.

So, I made the decision to try to stop the voices at least by popping an antipsychotic today. I truly dislike taking this particular medication and I just wish medical science would come up with something better. Though, I am at the same time grateful there is something rather than nothing. 

I hope you are all travelling well. 

[lavenderhaze]

Hi @Tranquillity,

I am Lavenderhaze, a peer support worker at SANE.

I am so sorry to hear that last night was rough

I hope the medication provides some relief

I hear you; there have been so many instances where I have thought the same - I wish there were better medications out there with fewer side effects 

How're you feeling this afternoon?