Hi @Former-Member
I had 2 surguries to clear it out as it was worse than anticipated. But it just spread outwards more not too deep into the muscles them selves. I often wonder if they really did get it all, says someone with a scar that goes halfway across their back. I do get check up they want checkups every 6 months at least for the next yr.
I thought youd understand the pelvic exam thing. I had one done yesterday and they ended up damaging inside. So I have to put up with the irritation and pain of that for the next few days or so. Yeah I know, as if it wasnt embarrassing enough, anxiety pipes up or those memories pop up and makes it worse hey. I very much get that. Im still very new to pelvic exams but have had 3 in the past yr due to other problems but the recent one is on a thread on the LE side called 'ladies please' if you would like to take a look.
I find CBT boring tbh, its not that its hard or easy as such but she doesnt help me. CBT is suppose to be like talk therapy but when I want to talk about it she wont. Its frustrating. But I dont think I could handle exposure therapy though I do a lot of that myself.
If you dont mind me asking, how did they do exposure therapy for you? You dont have to go right into details but if they decide to do that for the dog incident id be interested to know what happens even just a little bit.
Are you able to speak about it now? I know your writing here but as you said theres a difference between here and in RL.
@Former-Member has brought up a good point about leisure activities and self care, id be interested to know these too. I hope you do take care of yourself having all those responsibilities.
And yes, you have my full support, and thank you for yours. Im with you in the support you have here, walking along side you eahc step of the way 
@Faith-and-Hope yes I thought the picture looked very much your style. And I expect you could very easily have painted it. Thanks for the advice by the way, I'd never have thought of all that stuff like copyright etc. A trap for the uninitiated obviously. I will have a browse through the internet and pick up some pics I really like the look of and see if I can duplicate it.
How are you by the way?
Sherry
Hi @outlander and thanks for your post. With regards your melanoma, I'm sure that you'll be fine and you have no reason to be concerned. At least you have been advised to have 6 monthly checks, which is standard for any cancers I believe. Certainly it was for hubby when he had kidney cancer and a kidney removed 6 years ago. 6 monthly checks for 2 years and then annually after that. But that was never advised after he had his melanoma and lymph glands removed last year. I really dont know why. As it turns out, the cancer in his lungs was only discovered as a result of his annual kidney cancer screanings which were done in August this year. So please stick to those check ups!
Yes CBT is a talk therapy its true. I never found it boring however, much too uncomfortable to be considered boring. Although as I mentioned to you, I did have mine in conjunction with exposure therapy. Exposure therapy for me was to actually go through the trauma, to talk about it, to discuss how it made me feel. Over and over, and over again. But because I could not talk about it, she had me write it down at home and take it back to her. The idea was then to read out loud what had happened. But I still couldnt, so she read out loud what I'd written and recorded it. I had to take the recording home and listen to it time after time, and she had me keep notes on my distress levels each time I'd listen to the tape. Eventually I was able to speak myself of what happened and she recorded that. And once again I had to play it over and over, and continue to note down my levels of distress. Over time, many hours and many weeks, the distress level reduced. And I slowly was able to listen to my own story without quite the same physical or psychological distress symptoms that I'd had initially. Its all to do with desensitising your mind and your body to the trauma. Its pretty rugged stuff.
Thats what happened for me, but my trauma is not something you can safely duplicate in a real sense. For you and the dog incident, it may be possible to take you to a situation where a real dog is involved, that would be the ideal. Your therapist would not put you in any physical danger however. Nor would they ever do exposure therapy with you without first preparing you for it by ensuring they have given you appropriate tools to cope with it. That would include relaxed breathing techniques to help ward off panic and establishing a 'safe place' for you to mentally go to at times that you cant cope. My clinical psych phoned me every day during my therapy, and asked me to text her every time I listened to the tapes at home, and to give her my distress scores. She kept a very close eye on me throughout.
I hope that helps. Its not designed to scare you off doing exposure therapy if thats what your therapist recommends, it is just my personal experience with it. I'm sure others would be different.
Sherry
Hi @Former-Member and thanks for posting, even though you arent feeling too good yourself.
You dont need to use a heap of words to express empathy for another or to show you care. Your few words do exactly that, and I very much appreciate them. Thankyou.
I am thinking of you too, and hope you're okay. Good night to you and sleep well.
Sherry