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β19-06-2018 03:06 PM - edited β19-06-2018 03:26 PM
β19-06-2018 03:06 PM - edited β19-06-2018 03:26 PM
@Former-Memberπππ°βπ
β19-06-2018 05:26 PM
β19-06-2018 05:26 PM
Wow! Thankyou so much @outlander
ππ
Beautiful flowers. Just what I needed. Been a tough day.
I hope youβre ok??
β19-06-2018 05:34 PM
β19-06-2018 05:34 PM
β19-06-2018 05:43 PM
β19-06-2018 05:43 PM
Have to sort dinner @outlander
thanks for asking though
its all in not coping thread.
No need to read though. Itβs ok if you donβt.
Good you sound like youβre relaxing.
πππππ
β19-06-2018 05:46 PM
β19-06-2018 05:46 PM
β19-06-2018 06:23 PM
β19-06-2018 06:23 PM
β19-06-2018 06:37 PM
β19-06-2018 06:37 PM
Thatβs great if you found them helpful @outlander, and yes, it takes time to develop that muscle in setting boundaries because unfortunately, they are needed.
Probably the biggest shift in understanding is being able to see how much firming up boundaries will help you deal with people who struggle to recognise other peopleβs boundaries (other side of the coin) and constantly over-ride them. Next, itβs just as eye-opening to learn how to do this while still being true to yourself ..... because you dont want to walk yourself in either ......
It involves some trial and error, but you will get it, you will get there. Remember that being polite and kind, but not giving in to the demands of others is a good form of boundary-keeping. It just takes practice. Use a firm not-angry voice, and practice saying, βThank you, but no ....β and, βThank you, but not on this occasion .....β and, βThank you, but I am not free at that time ..... β and fill your diary with things you want to do for yourself, so most of the βnot freeβ things are because you are looking after yourself. If youβre asked for an explanation, first of all you donβt have to give one, but if you choose to, tell them you have another commitment with someone already in your diary. No need for them to know that that someone is you .....
β19-06-2018 06:56 PM
β19-06-2018 06:56 PM
β19-06-2018 07:10 PM
β19-06-2018 07:10 PM
Thatβs a good way of looking at it @outlander. It took me quite some time to zone in to how I felt about things, because it is natural for me to feel more for the other person ..... but if you think of there being a gate between you and whether you really want to open that gate or not, it becomes about you and how you are feeling about reaching for the gate-latch instead of it being automatic ..... there is something keeping others out of your immediate space. The bubble is the same principle. The space inside it is yours. You will gradually start to notice what you do or donβt want inside the bubble with you.
Consider telling you family that your doctors / counsellors are insisting that you take more time off to rest and recover your hand so it doesnβt keep re-injuring, which includes limiting your driving more. See if that does it .....
β19-06-2018 07:20 PM
β19-06-2018 07:20 PM
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