sad&stuck

[STORMGRL101]

Major depression & social anxiety have been ruling my life and I feel so stuck. Lack of motivation, emotional overeating, loneliness..(my partner works nights and sleeps during the day, i have no friends & my family are either away or busy and I feel like I don't want to bother them) feelings of being worthless and hopeless, racing thoughts... I'm tired. And sad. No medication is helping and I have a support team around me (psychologist, psychiatrist, gp, mental health support worker) but I can't help but think why bother. Ive been holding on for so long and it doesn't seem to be getting better. I feel like there's only so much distracting I can do. Sorry, you probably don't want to read my depressing s*&t but thanks if you do. 

[Queenie]

Sounds like you could do with a bit of social interaction, perhaps with peers @STORMGRL101? I noticed you have a good professional support system in place, but has your mental health support worker suggested any sort of peer support groups at all? I know you have social anxiety, so would be understandably anxious about meeting new people, but it can be really rewarding and you might find you have a reason to 'bother' about life again. 

Perhaps your support worker could introduce you a group local to you? You could go with your support worker to make you feel more at ease?

[STORMGRL101]

hello @Queenie 
yes I  have a bit of social interaction each week as I attend a group on Tuesdays and we go out for a walk or bike ride or a different active activity like swimming or golf. I don't talk or interact much due to the social anxiety but just getting there is a big step for me. 

[Queenie]

@STORMGRL101 well done on achieving that big step in just getting there. I can only imagine how difficult that must be. 🙂 Hugs.

[sinead1996]

I feel so often like I don't have any friends either because of my social anxiety, I feel like I'm inadequate and nothing I contribute to social interaction is worthy.  But in reality, I probably do have friends.  And I think you probably do too, sometimes it's hard to see straight when you're so overwhelmed with depressing and negative thoughts.

[STORMGRL101]

Well yesterday I was so overwhelmed with negative thoughts that my support worker took me to the hospital. I was told I could stay there overnight and they would call my psychiatrist or my partner can take me home and watch me and call my psychiatrist in the morning. So I went home. Now waiting for my psychiatrist to ring back and see what she says. Feeling empty and flat 😞 struggling to see any light at the end of the tunnel. My flame of hope is almost out. 

[NikNik]

Hi @STORMGRL101

Did you hear back from your psychiatrist? Did they provide any helpful strategies or advice?

I think at times like this, looking forward towards the light isn't the priority, looking down at your feet and putting one in front of the other is. That's my cryptic way of suggesting mindulness and grounding techniques to keep you focused on the present.

Nik

[STORMGRL101]

Hi @NikNik

heard back from psychiatrist but she didn't really say much except just wait for my neurotherapy to start in a cpl weeks.. she doesn't want to change my medication. Don't think anyone is taking me seriously. Ive told people I'm feeling suicidal but no ones helping me. What do I have to do for them to actually help me. Don't know whether to go back to the hospital or not. I need something to help me NOW not in a week or 2. I can't handle this...

[NikNik]

Hi @stormgrl

I'm sorry that you feel you aren't being taken seriously. That's the last thing you need with suicidal ideation to deal with at the same time.

Hospital will keep you safe, so it's a good option if things are escalating for you.

Lifeline and suicide call back are both great organisations that will take you seriously and are just a phone call or chat away. Both have online chat if that's your preference.

We are also here, if connecting in with others is helpful for you? We're not a crisis service, but here to connect in with 🙂
Take care

[STORMGRL101]

I'm feeling worried as my partner is back on call tonight and might have to go to work. He has taken the last 4 days off to look after me but I am still struggling with SH thoughts and suicidal thoughts. I'm scared to be alone if he goes to work. I see my support worker first thing tomorrow morning so just have to get through the evening/night. Will try to cook dinner soon and maybe watch something on Netflix.