It really sucks to feel like this @STORMGRL101 but you do have the strength - you proved that by admitting you needed help and going to hospital - sooooo courageous buddy. I know you don't have your weighted blanket yet but try getting a few blankets together and wrapping around yourself for now - they won't be quite as heavy but will have a sense of comfort and security that you don't feel at the moment.
Thinking of you...
Zoe 
You are not 'nothing' @STORMGRL101 - you MATTER and I just wanted to let you know that I have heard you and I care...
Zoe
'nothing' MY FOOT! - its a feeling
"FEELINGS ARE NOT FACTS"
feelings can become beliefs, but I think you're smart enough to know that you are not empty space (nothing). I'll bet you even have fingers and toes for starters, and yep, their attached to limbs, and a body, and you're typing here, so - hmm, you have a brain 🙂 that works! and communicates with your fingers, and eyes, and chats to us... Etc... True? 🙂
You seem to have lots of thought process happening, and feelings to get in touch with. But
"you are not your thoughts, or your feelings, you are the one observing them" ~ Eckhart Tolle
This ends my lecture about 'nothing' lol
Apart from how you can observe all the parts that make you you - we find you real, even in cyberspace, real enough to write to. We like you and care about you and support you toward recovery.
You are as equal in value and worth as anyone else who ever lived.
With Self Harm urges, it may be different for you but I have noticed SH & SI to be more intense when stress is very high and when there's a disconnect from my feelings. Try not to worry - be kind to yourself. SH can connect feeling but there are other ways to 'ground' oneself before the urges take over:
- strong smells are good for me (perfume, scented candles, oils, insence...)
- strong tastes (lemon, humbugs...)
- strong vibrant happy colours, yellow glasses, colouring
- touch, squeeze an ice cube till it melts, sunbake, take a warm shower, pat, cuddle pet, feel sand between fingers, brush your hair, moisturise your feet and legs...
Can you do any of these things right now? And breathe deep and slow - i'd ove to hear if it helps you too.
Probably best you dont drive too far when ya dissociative or lacking concentration as you describe. You have much on your mind atm so its no wonder your mind goes into autopilot. Daily grounding exercises will really help with this.
Your care coordinator, is she part of a team that you could ring for support? Talk to us. Stay safe. 💜💕🌷🌿
I was wondering (sorry if you already said) if :
Do you have any hobbies?
What's your fav sweet?
What did you do today?
Do you like a particular music?
Are you part of any social group?
Lapses🌷🌿
Dear @outlander @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope hugs to you
@Former-Member thankyouuu i am having a lot of trouble 'grounding' myself and dealing with the overwhelming feelings of guilt, sadness & emptiness. i also feel immensely sad about missing my old psychologist and the people at the 'break' place i was at.
At the moment i find S/H is the only way i'm 'surviving' through each day. i see no future for myself and i'm scared. i don't want to put my pain onto others but its too hard to deal with. i don't want my family to have to deal with my suicide but at this stage i feel like it will happen. this is not a world i belong in, i dont fit in and if im going to live in crisis every few months its not a world i want to be in.
my care coordinator is part of a team i can ring and they will know who i am and have my story on the screen in front of them but im feeling reluctant to ring and speak to someone i don't know.
Do you have any hobbies? umm colouring in, swimming, beach
What's your fav sweet? chocolate! especially lindt and the new choc orange and choc lemonade blocks.
What did you do today? had a gp appointment, should of mentioned a few more things but was teary and i forgot, will see him again in 2 weeks. i also saw my baby nephew.
Do you like a particular music? umm i like a variety just not rap and heavy metal etc
Are you part of any social group? i go to an activity group tuesdays where i can do a range of activities either go out on an outing for a walk, fishing, bike riding etc or i can stay and do craft.