The Challenges of Mental Health Wellbeing

[Sans911]

Hmmm.... Sister priveleges huh?

@outlander

[outlander]

Yep @Sans911

[Teej]

Thanks for your heartfelt response @Sans911. It actually felt good to get that out. I really don’t know what my future holds but I know I can’t live like this anymore. The fear of everything is so destructive. I’ve been offered some intensive therapy but I’ll loose my cc (support person). I think that hope of finding me is keeping me here and helping get through a bit easier too. On the other hand I’m terrified because it feels like it’s a last ditch attempt to become unstuck. I know it won’t be a magic wand and that for me it will be very confronting. It’s a different kind of therapy called transference-focused psychotherapy. I meet the psychologist soon. For the first time I’m petrified of that whole relationship, getting to know them, letting them in and knowing that there is an ending. 

I hope you get through tonight ok @Sans911 without anymore strong si. 

@outlander, @Sans911 it’s been lovely to share this with you. I’m going to try to be a good girl (whatever that is 😳) and wind down and hopefully sleep. 

Hugs 💜🤗

[outlander]

Goodnight @Teej 💜🌻💝🌼

[Sans911]

@Teej

I'm glad you got to express those feelings. It isn't always easy if you feel vulnerable or like your burdening people, but it is healing. And it's actually really helpful for me, because we share similar feelings about things. I feel really understood and less alone in these thoughts and feelings of mine.

I get all those feelings of self destruction, unable to see the future and terrified of it, feeling confronted. I'm curious about the changes I need to make, but I'm also terrified of what parts of me as I know them, will be lost in the process. And what us left at the end? Who will I be. But whike being terrified we are also strong and brave.

Goodnight sweet. @Teej

You've been a tremendous support tonight. My SI is lowered, but I'm still very tense and everything is wound tight. Sleep well my forum sister.

[outlander]

Im still around if you need @Sans911

[Teej]

Likewise @Sans911. You’ve helped me too so much. You’ve helped me not feel like I’m the only one who does some of this stuff.  Goodnight

Catch you soon 💜🤗

[Sans911]

I haven't given you the opportunity to help me much lately @outlander

but I really appreciate your support tonight. I think maybe you should be a community mental health nurse or school counseller or something along those lines. You have such a lovely, gentle way about you which although it might not feel like it now, will take you a long way in life.

I've held off taking my meds until now. I've not had such an interesting discussion like tonight for a while and I wanted to stay for as long as I could. But like Teej, I've realised my limitations here, and I have to have time away from here for my own needs, as well as the tendency to take on others pains by extending my time here.

I'm still anxious but less SI. And you've both been a big help in reducing that.

I've got a specialist appt in the morning which I need to take public transport to, so I'll be here for just a little longer.

Jasper come to sit alongside my leg because Mr A has jumped off the bed. He's doing a crazy cleaning thing. He's got a really funny kind of meow when he's looking for me, wants some attention or looking for Mr A for a licking fest! The meow is a bit like a brrtt sound lol

[outlander]

Thanks @Sans911

Your not leaving here though are you? You wont stay away too long....

I hope its not something ive done. 

Lol he is a strange cat but cute.
Good luck with your specialist appt tomorrow too. Im glad your SI has eased now too.

[Sans911]

No, I'm not leaving here. Besides, that was more as a response to if you see my absence for a day or three, those are the reasons why. I've thought about leaving here many, many times but I've given so much of myself and formed some incredible relationships that I would miss terribly, that I couldn't do it to you or others, nor to myself.

The two cats are now having a major lick a thon, but I've now had to separate them as their biting each other.