When things get tough here on the Forums

[NikNik]

Hi CannonSalt

Just sent you an email with the link 🙂 Thanks @MoonGal for bringing this to my attention.

Nik

[Appleblossom]

Am feeling extremely triggered about the oven thing ... and about what I am allowed and not allowed to post re SI. 

Am feeling over blocked by mods from expressing a thought that has been with me for a very long time. It is highly overdetermined .. is has a lot of energy attahed to it.Trying to do it "nicely" ... responsibly.

Gender issues and feeling issues are a tremendous trigger for me.

Still trying to mudddle on with my day ... trying not to get bogged down ... gently ... slowly continually moving along ... booked a measure and install oven quote ... but at supermarket I couldnt find what I was looking for and panicking .. realised I had not eaten today ... til 4.30 om.... saw ex ... agitated ircling house ... glad son is out ... ... took relaxant.  ... now need to make polish sausage and vegie soup.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Appleblossom, sorry to hear that you're feeling unsure about posting around SH.  I know that you understand that we're just trying to maintain a safe environment and that the last thing we want to do is to block such important conversations.  We really don't need need you to be 'nice'.  We just need specifics left out that might be troubling for other members or readers.  People who are struggling to not use whatever method you are referring to.

So, discuss the urge, the pre-occupation, the struggle and even the event itself just without detail of the method.  If that's too hard, maybe write the post as you wish it to be and then go back and place references to specific means with 'SH' or some equivalent.  I hope that the dilution of the detail won't reduce the power of the conversation too greatly.

All doing our best here 🙂

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Appleblossom

Trigger.... yes I get triggered easily_ you haven't triggered me :
I'm so proud of you that you have moved in with your life like you have

[CannonSalt]

For me, labelling or classifying the behaviour (poke/scratch/cry/jump/sing etc.) whatever... constant layering of euphemism makes it vague as to how serious the situation is, how.. manageable? I guess? ... the self harm is.  For a lot of us, being able to say 'I self harm by singing showtunes until my throat is sore' (substitute an actual self-harm method for my example...) is a powerful step in being able to eventually disclose that to someone in person.  Sometimes we want to call a spade a spade, not an earth-moving implement, or a b***dy shovel.  It's confusing about how to talk about it without including the detail - or what details in particular are inadvisable for this forum.   

[PeppiPatty]

Thats a great way @CannonSalt Love how descriptive you are on your .....stuff......

Ive got some wonderful news to write once I've worked out how to write it. 

It is confusing but your words sound ......the right descriptive ....

[CannonSalt]

Good news, @PeppiPatty ? 😄

[Appleblossom]

Thank you @CannonSalt @PeppiPatty and @Former-Member for replying. I started crying when I saw your pics against the thread topic. ... gratitude.

not able to see yet ... too overwhelmed. Not sure whether I should go to choir tonight but I missed last week.

I thought hiding behind Sylvia Plath was not being direct then I realised with horror that @lisajane still had littlies .

The issue is that I have been plagued with it for so long in so many ways it is tied up in so much of my thinking now.  I dont want to influence others wrongly.. but need supportive adult company about it ... not to be always mindful to protect my kids from my fears ... my son just entered as I was crying ... I think he realised .. though I responded to him brightly about his dinner and his day ... he quietly closed the door on me .. thats ok.

[CannonSalt]

Oh no, not Plath! 😞 *virtual hugs* Feelings come and feelings go, but you stay.

[PeppiPatty]

lol @CannonSalt

@Appleblossom here for you Ms. I've got something to write but it's going to take me a little while to write and I'm still trying to work it out. 

About 3 weeks ago, my next door neighbour and friend got a visit from her daughter and partner and her 3 graddchildren My husband and me were over the moon for her, her life has been significantly bad ...she has nothing in her flat except the bare neccessaties because people borrow things from her. and never bring them back. Once I gave her an expensive glass frog I got from a store and that night, someone borrowed it from her.....

I could go on. I offered to tutor her oldest Grandchild because she didnt turn up for the first week for school, my hub, bought her toys and made the family a meal one night. We were there for our neighbour because we knew that it was a very wonderful thing for her but the daughter...with no notice...........she just arrived! She hadn't seen her daughter in over 10 years! We were concerned with no space for 3 children .....her daughter didnt even have her Health care card to enrol her daughter in school or any nappies for her youngest daughter. 

Then....my husband met the husband of the daughter. I was horrified. He told him to go.... ...he told him he was a bully  and taking advantage of our friend. The young husband is crything to my husband but he left.

What was that?? They are illegal substances users says my husband. You and me are banned from having anything to do with them but we have to be more available to our friend. 

So, we are inviting her downstairs and with much prompting and many hours of listening to her......we saw our neighbor and friend get a relationship with her daughter. We saw her take her to Community Services and present her in knowledge how much support she really needed.

We saw our friend get a wonderful healing relationship with her granddaughters and one grandson.....no illusions and tell her daughter with no agenda words like. I love you but you l... to me because you are a dr..... add......

Her life has slowly creaked to the positive, It's going to be hard for her but she has had two weeks with her daughter and her grandchildren and saw her speak to her daughter with .......very prompted by me......no agenda.

It was .....wonderful to see my friend get a little healing in her life