@Appleblossom - what you say is so true, and what @Former-Member said about in her days of practice that it was an eye opener to her that maybe people weren't saying lots of stuff.
Now...
Bottom line, I learned through this discussion that we are monitored and that monitoring means we need to also hold unto ourselves yet more stuff that might have been helpful to ourselves and others.
I never told it all, ever, that gives way too much power away. Not that I had any, that was an illusion. Maybe what has been hit up on here is someone felt safe and strong to start to discuss a really difficult topic and others resonated and joined in openly - then the matter was moderated, as careful as that moderation was, and that has been a moment of 'reality checking' about the trust we might have built up with each other to have this dicussion is then sidelined (and I agree that the 'methods' change was a perfectly accepatable request) that there are others who may be vulnerable.
MAYBE - the forums could have PRIVATE discussion spaces - where people can join - or be added to a conversation - and LEAVE a conversation to not be re-added. The few people who were disclosing were obviously comfortable with the discussion...
I get other people 'might' be triggered and might in their own lives not know what to do with that, or might self-harm as a result of reading something, but what I saw in that discussion that ended up being moderated to non -existence (even though i acknowledge that was not the intent) that discussion of any really useful ways we might go about effectively dealing with impulses to Self Harm were shut down along with the discussion on the ways we might self harm. Because we then all started discussing (mea culpa) the moderation.
I would say this - if you are reading this and have self harmed, are in danger of self harming, have never talked to someone else about self harming, or have and were silenced because of either their discomfort or because it was way beyond anything they knew to handle- there ARE other people who used to self-harm who stopped and there are concrete steps you can take towards that. Keep looking for the ways out of it, that create new and better ways of relating to yourself. because you are worth it.
Every one of us is worth love, deserve love and are lovable.
I see now, for me, in hind-sight (so often it's 20/20 vision hindsight) that my self harm was mini-suicide, it is the strongest form of self-hate and self-degredation. I reckon in my case bought on by my inability to have stopped the actual abuse that was perptrated on me, by multiple people (in mutiple forms). In the end - I could not have stopped it - I was a child, then a groomed teeneager, then a messy adult. That anyone hurt me at all is at their feet, their responsibility, not mine. My gnarly-critic (who is actually just an armoured up child with an attitude) was the one who harmed me - only a LITLLE part of myself given way too much decision power and once that was realised she was contained with love.
The best response to a a life tied in knots by others harm is to live the best life we can at any given moment.
I wish you all, moderators included... Love & Resilience
