When things get tough here on the Forums

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Appleblossom and @CannonSalt for sharing your stories.  Both so interesting.  If I can find a common theme with such different experiences it might be that you became more able to manage the urges when you stood up for yourselves.  Gave more weight to your own needs and took courageous steps - whether that be separating or making a complaint for professional misconduct. 

If that's right (even though it's a massive simplification) it makes sense.  SH has a major self-loathing component.  Those actions would have helped you feel better about yourselves and more hopeful about the future. 

Just guessing here but that's the beauty of the Forums.  Learning from others experiences.  Even if I sometimes make 2 and 2 equal 16 🙂

[PeppiPatty]

DEar @CannonSalt

Your story .....brought out something in me......my long ago memory of bad councelling feels resolved....because I found out what actually happened n her life but I never had the support of a Father / family

The reason why this forum works so well is because we dont lean on the intellect of.....Councellors who study and Statistics but like your story; it's 

real

sensetive

others can lean on this experience and know they are not being judged. 

Wow @CannonSalt thank you,

PP

[PeppiPatty]

DEar @CannonSalt

Your story .....brought out something in me......my long ago memory of bad councelling feels resolved....

I found out what actually happened in her life. But that didnt  resolve my experience.... Time was the thing that healed me.So much of my self loathing was......altered........

Do you think......The reason why this forum works so well is because we dont lean on the intellect of.....Councellors who study and Statistics but like your story; it's 

real

sensetive

others can lean on this experience and know they are not being judged. 

Wow 

@CannonSalt thank you,

PP

[Former-Member]

@Former-Memberhmmm what holds me back from being able to talk about it... probably mostly shame, not wanting to give proof to anybody (even if i know that they already know..!) of how bad/messed up i am. just an overwhelming fear that if they knew that it was still happening (occassionally) that id be seen differently. im not sure. Also don't want to be seen as being 'attention seeking' (something that i've heard a lot about in schools where kids are quickly and falsely labelled!) and in the most shameful part somewhere, im not sure that im ready to 'stop' because sometimes its the only thing that gives at least a bit of relief from overwhelming pain on the inside or feeling completely out of control or out of my depth in my life im not sure.

eeek hmm to post or not?? lol (i use the delete button on here alot!!!!) oh well!

LJ

[Appleblossom]

Thanks @Former-Member about the self loathing idea .. it was a part of it..

@Former-Member there was a time when I had that funny feeling that I wasnt ready to quit yet .. but I started to get a handle on understanding triggers ..

Then when I was in my own house .. I made a pact not to have that behaviour in the new house ... a little like the way I gave up smoking 15 years earlier. Set your own parameters on how you can give it up.

[PeppiPatty]

Thinking of you @Former-Member

PP :0)

[PeppiPatty]

Hi All which means all my friends....

@CherryBomb thanks for doing this thread.

EVeryone here may know that the last three weeks....have been particualrly difficult. I've been teary and just doing daily stuff as little as possible. My darling husband is Very needy..not his fault; love the person, not the condition;

The move has been very stressful on him.

Thankyou everyone. I'm not through it........... but it's been tough in my life. What has been tough is that I want to say hi to my friends and the list is getting long. How do we make is not such a difficult task but all my friends know Im thinking of them??

I think of @CannonSalt or @Mazarita a moderator like @Former-Member or @Former-Member but that means...that long long list which gets bigger.....who would guess that I want to talk to @GothMum but I can't remember her name or I have to write that long list just to say hi to my friends like @Former-Member but it's too hard to write the list??

What can I do??

Arlo says hi to everyone....@Jacques, do you notice his smile?? 

[Jacques]

Hi @PeppiPatty,

I am waiting for the pic to show up, i will let you know when i see it.

@PeppiPatty, try not to be so hard on yourself, their are many people on here, some of them you are closer to than others, if you struggle with names like i do just type their username, it does not mean you are impersonal, you are using a name they have chosen.

You have had a very stressful time lately, it disrupts your thinking, well it does mine, try to look after yourself first, you are the most important person in your life :), @PeppiPatty Anne, you are a good person and a wonderful friend to many people, you help people on here and many in your community, try not to be so hard on yourself, maybe when referring to friends, maybe use the term you coined forumites 🙂 everyone who knows you will know you mean them.

hugs Anne you are a wonderful person and an awesome friend and a great asset to the SANE forums.

Jacques

[Mazarita]

Dear @PeppiPatty, 

Hugs to you and thanks for saying hello. 

I have been taking a little time out from the forum this week because I am doing more outside my flat, also keeping up with video editing and spending time with a couple of offline friends. 

It's true the forum is growing in members and discussions, which is great. I also understand what you are saying about adapting to the changes. Maybe one thing is not to feel worried about how often we stay in contact with each other. We are friends and, to me, that doesn't depend on reading or responding to each other all the time. A slower rhythm of communication can be good too I think. 

[Appleblossom]

 Hi peppi

It is huge to move house (for him) and make space in your own place ... I think that is how you meant it was turning out.

You have done a huge job of setting a caring and friendly tone to the forums.  We are all grateful for that.

Hope things settle soon for you both.

cheers Apple