General chit chat

[Former-Member]

Thanks for the @mention    @Former-Member   Very down today, actually thinking of leaving the forum and asking for my story to be taken down.  So thanks for the little pep up.

[Former-Member]

Oh Tooky 😞 I'm so sorry you're feeling so down. Is there any particular reason (obviously no need to say/talk about it)? Is there anything that we could do here that might help you today? For what it's worth, I completely respect and support your decision to take your story on or off as you need, but I feel thankful I was able to experience it yesterday.

[Former-Member]

Ps - i also really hope you hang around @Former-Member but understand the need for a break from things too

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member I also worry I've said too much. I can't help feeling positive he is here. This site is for people with problems, and abusers have problems too. I like that the messages are checked here. Though that wouldn't stop him, he'll pretend to be . . . whatever, the anonymity can work both ways. I made a complete fool of myself at the last site, broke the rules, spitting out names - I was so sure it was him, and I still am. I don't know how he did it, as I have blocked him from email, but I recieved one from him the very next day and I've been getting phone calls, with no-one on the other end, ever since. (don't know how he's doing that either, I changed my number, all those years ago when he started.) But I'm tired of hiding and I can't run any more. I've noticed a button, I think it's on the screen before you log in, it says something like 'contact moderators offline' - I don't know the rules, but maybe you could tell them your story that way. My memory is very patchy throughout my life, I call them black boxes, big chunks just disapear - the bad and the good; it makes me very sad when I realise it has taken memories of my child. So maybe it's a good idea to tell your story while you still remember it. I don't think there's any such thing as safety, there's just good and bad situations . . and all the shades inbetween. I think your allowed to ramble here and I think that's absolutely wonderful - a place where I can be me.

My day's going along quite well, I even did the dishes today! 😄

[Former-Member]

That sounds really scary, frustrating and tiring @Former-Member 😞 do you know where to go for extra support if you need it or think it might help (as in for what seems like stalking)? The idea of black boxes is sad, or maybe not depending on what's in them, but I appreciate the idea of writing things down in case/before they're gone. Trauma certainly has a way of scrambling a brain hey?

Yay for doing the dishes and glad to hear your day is going well. Love the profile pic change by the way!

A place where you can be you... that's a lovely idea 😊

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member ACORN Australian Cybercrime Online Reporting Network. I did report it. I don't know if trauma scrambles the brain, but I think it permanently changes it, physically. . . anyhow I won't blurb on 🙂

I hope your day is going well too! and thanks for liking my profile pic 🙂

[Former-Member]

Does anyone feel like, they're getting worse as they get older? I never used to cry, full stop - it wasn't allowed, that wasn't something you bothered others with - you had to do that alone. I only saw my Mother cry once in my whole life, it was when it 'sunk in' that she wasn't going to get better. It shattered me, I didn't know what to do or say, I just said 'it's alright, everythings alright'. She was a Saint my Mother, so restrained, so polite, never raising her voice, never swearing - how could she hold all that in for her whole life?

[Former-Member]

I think my family was told, just never speak of it and it will be forgotten. The details go away but the feelings get set in cement. and I think it allowed it to continue, silently, with no words, it made it safer for them!

[NotLabelDefined]

Hi @Former-Member and @Former-Member,

yes trauma can cause changes to our brain, but this is not necessarilly permanent 🙂

[Former-Member]

I had a little bump the other day. My young dog knocked me right off my feet! He was just playing. I also have a little dog, he tends to come to my feet to stop the young dog 'playing' too much with him. The young fella just got carried away. He hit my legs like a super dense bowling ball of muscle and I flew like a bowling pin in a strike! I got up fighting, don't you worry . . . and I think he learnt he has to watch me - not the other way around! My left hip is a bit sore, which bothered me because it's normally my right side that plays up. I started the whole, whoa is me, what am I going to do if I can't walk. It's an argument I often have with myself, as my right side often plays up with the weather (well, I think it's the weather anyhow), and the argument always ends with - well, I'll get a wheelchair; then the second argument - but your shoulders are no good . . . that one always ends up with - well, I'll get an electric wheelchair! In fact I've now decided, if it ever comes to that, I'm going to get me a four-wheel-drive, super-charged wheel chair and give the young fella a real run for his money! 😄

Good Morning @Mazarita 🙂 It's raining here and I think that's better than good 😄 I just want to say, I know your exhausted from being so brave and so strong for so long. I know you won't let them win, you'll never give up. That's how we can help the younger ones that have they're own individual brain processes, for whatever reason they have them. We can show them you don't have to be 'normal' to be brave and strong! Thinking of you