im back..... i think

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Owlunar, @outlander, maybe one day I'll be brave enough to go to the Dentist (well I'm pretty sure pain will eventually make sure of that) I don't have internet on my phone, but I have a pretty active imagination, and I will make good use of it. I will be sitting in the middle, with one of you on either side of me . . . and I will then know I'm not the only weirdo in the waiting room 😄

[outlander]

im too scared to go to the dentist @Owlunar but like @Former-Member said im sure the pain will win eventually

and yes Niqueeta you can be in the middle if you like

this is the first female gp ive actaully had and its only been since about 3 months ago that i started seeing her and i was closed off from males as you cna imagine!

she thinks that it may be a skin infection/condition causing it so we are going to try the steroid cream over the weekend three times a day and see if it has any effect but my actaul breast hurts as well too not so i dont think its going to work and i might need some other tests which im hoping thats not the case.

just waiting for the pic to be modded @Owlunar but i will draw you a beach

[Former-Member]

I don't think I've mentioned this to you @outlander, or mentioned it full stop; I used to self harm, with the sharp I saw it more as a control issue - I controlled how deep the wound, how much pain; with the burns my brain saw it as pain-training, getting used to it, so I did not give them the reaction they wanted. But I noticed a difference with infections, if only one or two wounds began seeping, I could clean and heal them with salt-water and tea tree oil; but if they all began weeping I would get sick. I think this could be because the infection gets into a body-wide system. A wound is a wound, whether it is self inflicted or inflicted by another or even accident - the body doesn't differentiate, it just heals. Shame we can't turn our minds off sometimes and just let the body lead the way.

I might hop off the Forum for a bit, I'm not deserting you, I just need a little space to avoid 'flipping-out'. I want to stay 'strong' for you, I have a definite maternal feeling towards you. I want to protect you

[outlander]

umm  im not sure if you have or not either @Former-Member but thank you for feeling comfortable to tell me that. i use to SH quite a alot too with a few requirin medical attention. the onyl problem with this lump is you cant really see an infection form the outside it just looks like  lumpy bruise colour  under the skin

yes please @Former-Member do look after yourself- you too deserve care and understanding and i do understand and am hearing you you need to stay stron for yourself not just for me.

maternal does that mean like mother?

[outlander]

OMG  ive jsut realsied something today marks a whole month of not self harming!!!!!

@Former-Member@Owlunar@Former-Member@oceangirl

[Appleblossom]

Hi @outlander

I am not on the forums as much as I used to be. Sorry. I have a lot going on and dealing with my dying brother. I am trying to keep up my contacts but will tend to be brief. Dont take it personally.

I am so glad you managed appointment.  The feelings are natural as it is invasive, its just that we put up with it in the hope that it will prevent worse things from happening.

WOW Congrats.  A whole month can be enough to break the habit and put in new healthier approaches to manage extreme feelings.  So glad you have come back AND are talking about things and people are working through it.

I find it hard to deal with conflict but have learned it is a frequent part of life.

Cheers Apple

[outlander]

Aww im.sorry @Appleblossom ❤❤❤ im here for you if you want to talk about anything and thank you for responding

[outlander]

@Former-Member

[outlander]

@CheerBearive got my psych tomorrow fir the last time before i change and im scared of monday and i cant push it away im having very big visions of whats to comr and i know thay what im thining isnt going to happen and i cant push it aside. And my lump hurts and im scared. And i dont know i still feel strange exactly like an outlander being on here. I feel i cant post what id like to or say anything to anyone.. Its not normal for me not to try and help people or ahow support. I dont want to say the wrong thing to upset or hurt anyone

And now to add to this my sister thinks i dont do anything for her and i dont care about anyone but myself
How can i be such a monster 😞

[CheerBear]

Ok @outlander. Big deep breaths. I'm going to make a cuppa and come back here. This is cuppa stuff 💛