im back..... i think

[CheerBear]

Monday? Is that your nurse appointment @outlander?

The lump hurting will be reminding you of it and I can understand why it feels scary. Was it the dr you trust that you saw today? If so, remember how we've spoken about that trust feeling reassuring when you remember it. I wonder if there's something you can do to take the edge off the pain though. Maybe a heat pack?

Yep - with you on feeling strange here. At least we're in this together I guess, as are many I think. The only thing I can say here is to try to be who you are, because who you are is enough.

Little or littler sister? Try not to take what they say to heart. That sounds dismissve, I don't mean it to. I know siblings can be hurtful sometimes. I questioned whether mine were put on this earth just to do my head in when I was younger. And now we're grown up we are very close.

And Outlander - you're not a monster. This I can promise you. You are someone doing their very best to deal with a heap of stuff. I know it can feel super horrible sometimes when bad things have happenef to us, but it doesn't mean we are bad.

[outlander]

yes thats my nurse appointment @CheerBear

yes i seen the dr i trust today but i dont see how a topical cream is going to help me- i can only hope. i guess i cant do much now until monday when i see her next. its a double whammy on monday as i see my gp about the lump and then the womens health nurse for the pelvic exam

its a constant dull ache in the whole thing not just that one little spot its the whole thing now

im glad im not by myself on that- i know its not good to say but at least it a mutual feeling between other members as well

im trying to just push the comments out of my head but its just mixing and stating everythign i think about myself and its just reinstating that so its making it very easy for me to believe

i feel like a monster who should be ling far far away from eveyone and everything before i destroy it

[CheerBear]

Double whammy is very hard @outlander. I'm not sure if it's helpful for you to know this but after one of our chats about this I have again been exploring my own fear about the same thing. You've kind of prompted me to get my butt into action to make sure at least my physical health in this regard is not forgotten too. I get how hard it is but know you can do hard, even when it feels kind of, hard. You did today and that was tough, but you did it.

I'm really sorry you're feeling like a monster and that things are making it harder for you to feel ok around people 😞

[outlander]

im really glad your making sure your phsyical health is still remainging good @CheerBear proud of you for doing that i know its not very easy to do even for someone without abuse or anythign like that either.

and guess what things just got worse

[CheerBear]

I'm sorry things have gotten worse @outlander. I'm feeling pretty uncomfortable online at the moment so I'm going to head off for a while but I didn't want to leave you thinking I've run from you. That's not it at all.

Thinking of you often. Will be doing a tough appointment tomorrow too. Maybe we can give each other a virtual high-five when we both get through it, which I know we will.

Hugs 💛

[outlander]

that really is ok @CheerBear im here for you too. sending you big hugs

let me know when your appointment is tomorrow- ill be sitting with you and when we are both out we can give each other big virtual hugs and high fives

[outlander]

yesterday i was with her right and we were at the horses and i tried to engage in abit of convo with her asking how horse horse is as she got a new one and as people do jsut ask questions- how ahve you been hwo are you enjoying your new horse then she pretty much shoved me out of the way and said i dont like the horse anymore and i though oh i wonder whats went on there. she was havng a bit of troules with him so i offerred if she would like me to give her a hand and see if we can work out his 'buttons' so the way he thinks and the ways he responds to commands and she just walked away from me
and tonight i finally check my face book after a few days and whats the first thing that pops up
shes out riding this horse having a blast and then she puts a pic up of another friend of hers and says when your bestie steals your  horse. mid you this is the horse that she hated and wanted nothing to do with and didnt want anyone to ride

can i please get some advice on this friendship situation

@Former-Member@Owlunar@CheerBear@Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Spookytookims

[Spookytookims]

@outlander  so this is the same one you had decided to step back from and wait to see if she reached out to you is it?  The friend that you said you had tried 3 times with and you were sick of a kind of one way thing happening with her?

Also was this post on yours or her facebook page?  Just trying to get things clear here first.

[outlander]

Yes it is and she said hi to me the other day though it was very forced i thought it was her way of making amends so the next time i saw her i tried to engage in a convo but that went south
She posted it on her fb but tagged the person im friends with as well and the comments that were written obviously i cant say to much but they were aimed at me saying yeah love it when my bestie and me go riding and people dont offer to do things they know nothing about THAT was directly aimed at me @Spookytookims

[Spookytookims]

@outlander  well I'm probably not the person to talk to about fb, because I don't like it or use it for exactly this reason.  I think it causes a lot of harm and heartache.  Also makes it much harder to put distance between those you need to because they are right "there" in front of you and most people find it very difficult not to look at the fbs of people they are trying to distance themselves from.

I don't know if you are aware, but there are a lot of studies being done on this kind of thing in regards to social media and fb in particular because of really bad consequences of how fb is sometimes used.  But it relates to all forms of social media on the net really it's just that of course fb is the biggie because basically it's impossible to get away from once you are in it.  It's even been officially deemed an addiction because of the need for people to feel that little bit of a 'rush' from being liked or replied to in a validating manner.

There ok, not the response you are looking for but well.... lol   you know me... out of the box 😛