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07 Jun 2018 05:23 PM - edited 07 Jun 2018 05:28 PM
07 Jun 2018 05:23 PM - edited 07 Jun 2018 05:28 PM
Hello All,
Coming back to Sane Forums after Two fairly longish breaks has been emotional because of all of you writing to me of your affection and I've noticed how you have all managed your lives in quite physically difficult and twisty emotional times.
thank you so so much. I work hard in getting around the site but I'm getting caught up in conversations and getting impressed with the empathy that members and mote raptors show to each other. It reminded me of how I've re friended a friendship with my old high school friend ......she was aggressive to me at school and even confessed but we talked abou it......it's taken a long time but we are friends now.
This is is what I want to rave about. I don't know if I'm upset, sad or happy but everyone may know that at almost 51 years old, my Mum is predictable but complex, often we do something together and her friends run over the road and look at me strangely or my brothers stop talking to me.........
we went to a friend that she has had for many many years. When we got there, her friend came running down the stairs and says ' you have stopped seeing these very dangerous men who steal all your money ? I raised my eyes and said, oh I'm very happily married.........
but she's looking at me all strangely..........
i wont go into my Mums reaction to me during the following week but I called her a few days later and went to see her a couple of days later. I visited her friend a week later.
in this delightful but ........upsetting visit I learned that she thought I was going to act like a 10 year old and had an iq of a 10 year old. That my husband was a psychotic beater of policemen. She was told by Mum that I kept on expecting money from her.
It it was a lot to take in. After about 2 hours on this visit.......She wants to do some art courses with me and told me that I was a lot saner than Mum. I was saying that I really don't care what mum says about me ........the visit just was long.....we were enjoying ourselves.
but something in me was coming to some realisations. she kept on talking about how I don't manage my money........it was sad.
I feel sad.
Husband has been very kind to me but it has been a lot to take in.
She has told me some things about mum that were a real surprise to me
07 Jun 2018 05:26 PM - edited 07 Jun 2018 05:29 PM
07 Jun 2018 05:26 PM - edited 07 Jun 2018 05:29 PM
07 Jun 2018 07:47 PM
07 Jun 2018 07:47 PM
Mothers and Mothering @PeppiPatty
Its a tough gig and bits spill out.
They can get upset if we manage our money well too. Then jealousy and competitiveness comes in ... my mother would charge over and demand we sign guarantors for this and that ... car ... sponsor for migration ...
You have been a key part of the postive culture here on the forum. That takes some maturity.
We have to take what kindness we can. Glad the hubster is coughing up kindness.
Life is complex and you have a lot on your plate since your car accident and head injury. Your trust and openness is a quality .
How do we find the right balance of respect ....
So glad you are here again .. but managing our feelings about mothers is soooo hard.
Often some protection required.
I was trying to do some writing but became paralysed and stunned in the way my mother turned on me.
Take Care Bella
07 Jun 2018 10:34 PM - edited 08 Jun 2018 10:31 PM
07 Jun 2018 10:34 PM - edited 08 Jun 2018 10:31 PM
Yeah,
Thanks, Apple,
I can hardly think properly, all these memories are hitting me in the head I cannot even imagine what you are dealing with it when I write it. I remember you writing about your Mum and Dad.
@outlander Thank you thank you @Sans911 @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Determined @CheerBear @Zoe7 @Bella3 @Zoe7 @Maggie @Teej @BlueBay @Jacques @Queenie
@Former-Member @Maggie @utopia
@Mazarita thank you
All everyone else
How can we get strong and get through?
What things can we do to be proactive to get through and get strong @Former-Member ?
@Former-Member @TAB @xtine @Appleblossom @Former-Member @Former-Member @Neb @Zoe7 @Dulcie @Former-Member @Former-Member
07 Jun 2018 10:50 PM
07 Jun 2018 10:50 PM
The main way I can think that is fair and truthful is admit we all are flawed but that we can strive to be better.
Strive for connection, goodness, beauty ...
07 Jun 2018 10:56 PM
07 Jun 2018 10:56 PM
Hi @PeppiPatty .. Ive been up since 3.30am got home at 7.30 re work sorry I can’t do much else but ‘like’ atm 😬
07 Jun 2018 11:02 PM
07 Jun 2018 11:02 PM
Hi @Appleblossom well maybe I can say hi or talk about simple stuff but reading back pages to get drift of deep conv hm not tonight
am going to bath then bed soon re early start 😳
07 Jun 2018 11:16 PM
07 Jun 2018 11:16 PM
All good @TAB Have a good bath and sleep.
07 Jun 2018 11:17 PM
07 Jun 2018 11:17 PM
Dear @TAB
I just feel ill. I can hardly think properly and I've got to get over this feeling. I must be proactive. Have your bath......your a good friend.
Nighty night
07 Jun 2018 11:35 PM
07 Jun 2018 11:35 PM
Sorry you’re feeling ill @PeppiPatty You will get there. You have a kind heart 😸
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