Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

HOW DO YOU MAKE A DECISION WHEN YOU KNOW BOTH OPTIONS WILL DESTROY YOU ABD THERE IS NO THIRD OPTION?

[greenpea]

Hi @Former-Member we haven't spoken for awhile. Doesn't sound as though you are in a good place atm .... Without knowing what is going on for you atm there was a contributor who wrote something I found very profound that I wrote it down in my little book it goes like this ' Be compelled forward into whatever awaits. Excelling ourselves to death'. It resonated with me as they are powerful words. Meaning to me to go forward head up high  powerfully into the unknown. I don't know if these words have helped or hindered your decision on what to do .... I hope they have helped. Love greenpea

[Former-Member]

Thanks @greenpea, 

My post here might help shed some light on my situation.

But in basic terms I'm trying to work out if I distance myself from my family or keep trying to make connections.

[greenpea]

@Former-Member I will go and have a look xxxx

[greenpea]

@Former-Member Sweetheart it is a hard one .... there will be no easy choice. Maybe my story might help a bit. My dad was a bitter disappointment to say the least. He was an alcoholic and was abusive to all of us to varying degrees. When I grew up and could escape I did (to another state) he and my mum still came to visit but it was on my terms and that gave me some sense of power back which I didn't have growing up.

The thing is you have the power now. You can do as you like and you should exercise that power when you feel that people are taking advantage of you etc.

I hope this has helped a bit. Love greenpea xxx

[Former-Member]

I feel like I have the power to say no @greenpea but I know that my family especially my sister lately uses the one thing that always stops me saying no. I won't let a child go without if I can help

[greenpea]

@Former-Member It is a tough one. My dad has been dead now for 18 years and I have made peace with him and moved on. It has helped me .... 

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member

I find the times when I can only see things as B&W or feel faced with decisions that seem to have terrible consequences .. 

that i need to

1) Hedge for time or space or both

2) Make other opportunities

I feel for your situation strongly.

Sorry the family are being lil or big shits.  

Create your adult safe space or den.  It is sacred.  For YOU & bub.