-Enigma-

[outlander]

No plans here just babysitting @Former-Member its really windy outside so its more of an inside day

Im not surprised your fatigued atm. Any rest planned in between shops and cleaning today?

[Former-Member]

Still in pjs @Former-Member

washing is on and making 2nd coffee. 

I know I need to food shop. Whether I can face doing it is another thing. 

💜🌸

[greenpea]

@Former-MemberSnap -Enigma- I was going to post to you but couldn't find the right words when I read how bad things were for you atm with your daughter .... I am so sorry. It is tough isn't it 😞 I was super sad last night for very different reasons to yours but it did centre around one of my children as it invaritably does. No one pulls your heart strings like your own child no matter what the age or reason.)

Luckily for me @Sophia1@Faith-and-Hope@Mazarita@eth@Appleblossom and others came to my rescue and got me through it, I hope my words will help just a bit to shed some warmth and hope on your current situation with daughter.

[Appleblossom]

Hi @Former-Member @Former-Member

Feeling your heavy hearts.  Sometimes Our hearts are full to bursting with our children.  Hope there is clarity and relief soon.

Hey @Former-Member @outlander @greenpea 

Just passing through,  Music and housework today.

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Appleblossom ❤️

Feeling distraught. Your thoughts are appreciated. 🌺🌷🌹

[Former-Member]

Good afternoon @greenpea@Former-Member@Appleblossom@outlander@Former-Member and to all who maybe reading

Thank you @Appleblossom for your ongoing support - you are so much stronger than you realise. I so appreciate you and you hold a special place in my heart.

@greenpea - I totally understand. So hard to find the words when we see someone is in a very tragic situation. And that I am. But just your likes and hearing from you helps lift me. Thank you. Especially seeing that you have been so low yourself. I am sorry I missed that and wasn't there for you - the situation and commitments here is making it impossible for me to read other threads presently. Please do not hesitate to tag me when you are feeling low. I totally get it and will reply to you as soon as possible as you are worth it.

We have a great group here and this type of compassion and support is what prevents us from doing something we may regret. It's the genuine people like yourself and @Appleblossom@Former-Member@outlander@Former-Member@Shaz and those you mentioned and those like them here, that saves lives and makes this forum work, nothing else, as these people truly care. That's a fact. And your care is helping me.

You are right, nothing hurts quite so bad as watching our children and loved ones suffer or being abused by my child. In my case my daughter is bringing me down - perhaps different to your situation because she is doing the wrong thing. She shows us no respect and is totally selfish. Unfortunately this is truth as this present time. I really believed she was passed this - but no.

Example:- I am trying to get our house ready for sale and she drops her clothes everywhere and won't leave her room at our request so people can see the house. She doesn't care nought for us or how it's effecting us. She has nought respect. That's just one example of how she is treating us and I have just had enough my friend - she has been putting us through this for 6 years now and nothing will change. She has to go. My dilemma is if she harms herself what that would that do to me mentally etc, even though this is not our fault. She made herself homeless. See my dilemma - but she is effecting our health and well being dangerously.

She put on Facebook that she had 163 friend requests in one day - and that was true. They glorify her like some female version of Ned Kelly. She can live her lifestyle somewhere else. This is not how she was raised. She won't feel so good sitting in a jail cell and she will be alone as I won't support her anymore. She made her choices and did the wrong thing. She has to face the consequences now.

When young she was revered by the community we use to live in. She won awards for being duct and community achievement award. Her name is framed in the school she was attending on their history wall with her awards. She was a peacemaker, patching up arguements between friends. She would not dream of ever being disrespectful to anyone then or breaking the rules at school. She was an angel and greatly loved. She was my world.

Then came 16 years of age and she did a 360 degree turn. It was unbelievable. She rebelled against our rules, became goth/emo and ran away from home because we would not allow her to drink underage etc at parties and at home. She was badly abused when she was out of our hair. She got mixed up in the wrong company, took drugs, defied the values of her upbringing  and changed dramatically.

She once attacked my husband (when in a rage she has untold strength) - I intervened and she assaulted me. I put her out straight away. After awhile she seemed to have changed and was good for a bit and wanted to come back. We let her and all was going well until she got involved with this creep and it's like she takes on their persona. She becomes sociopathic. She is 22 and should of learnt by now. She will have to learn the hard way.

Sorry for the rant. I am so grateful to the people you mentioned above that got you through your hard time last night. I am relieved you are feeling better now. I hope everything is okay with your children now, please feel free to talk about it here if it helps you - please don't hesitate to post here if you ever need to chat and some support. Sending lots of love to you. xxx ❤️

[Former-Member]

Hi @outlander - I hope this post find some you feeling a bit more uplifted. I am proud of you that you will continue to reach out for help and will fight your struggle. You have this in you and you are much loved. Please when feeling in crisis - talk it through with someone. It will make you feel much better than hurting yourself - and when we talk things through it helps us to work it out ourselves and come up with healthier solutions - even though they may not be easy, they will see us at a better place.

I know I have to get my daughter out of the house. I know the grief ahead. But there is no other way. It will be hard but is the only solution otherwise nothing will change.

This is the first break I have had today. Have cleaned the top half of the house (my house underroof is 44 square, together with deck and pool it's over 50. A lot of work involved to keep it immaculate. Last thing I feel like doing but I must. And I do feel better for it. My daughter won't leave her room. We are going to have trouble selling or showing anyone through......

@Former-Member - I hope your day has been relaxing and your husband and brother/family are doing alright. I am constantly thinking of you. Sending lots of love. ❤️

[outlander]

Afternoon my lovley friend @Former-Member ❤

Thank you i really appreciate you think and helping me even when your struggling so much yourself. Ill try my best to keep reaching out. I dont think im worthy of anyones help and its a struggle to ask anyone because i dont want to burden them. Often when i reach out to helplines or even my gp im often met with brush offs. My gp is leaving for a yr so i have to find a new one. I no longer have a psych because she blamed me for having a mental health issue. My psychiatrist isnt that supportive either. I feel like the worst person in the world because i cant seem to do much right nor can i make friends. I just tend to dissapoint people.


Your daughter is making things really hard for you esp in the respect department. Im sorry she isnt being helpful when it comes to your house. I hope someone cn help with accomodation with her. My heart is breaking for you. I wish i could come and help you and be of more support in real life for you.

Ive decided to start a new painting. Itll be a 3 piece set. Ive already got the design i just need to work out the colours for it.
Ia there something relaxing you could do today?

[Former-Member]

Heart breaking for you @Former-Member

Such a huge change in your daughter. So hard for you to cope with on top of everything else.  

I can imagine how much work it would be to keep your house clean and tidy for house inspection  

Hmm!  It does sound like your daughter needs to find her own place  

Thats  a hard one, for sure  

Home again today. I’m actually too scared to go anywhere.  No fight left. 

I don’t like to burden you with my “stuff”, when you have so much going on. 

💜💖🌸🌷🌺

You certainly don’t disappoint people on here @outlander 💜💖

Amazing how people in real life can be so hurtful and not understanding. Most people struggle with something, you’d think most people would care and understand. 

[Former-Member]

Dear @Former-Member 

(and waves to @Former-Member @outlander @Appleblossom @greenpea)

Your story is heartbreaking, it really is.  You do so much for your children as they grow up, with much self sacrifice in order to give them the best opportunities and happiness in life.  Unfortunately there comes a time where they have to make their own way in life.  Sometimes they fall by the wayside when they come across bad influences.  No matter how well you bring them up, they are vulnerable to these outside influences.  Just know you did all you could, from the year dot, and beyond.

My brother has been in a similar situation, as you know, with his son.  He is 19 now and an adult.  Despite every possible attempt by my brother and his wife, he could not get himself out of the influence of the drug scene and those in it.  He was a very impressionable, shy young fellow. Much younger than his years.  And very vulnerable also because he has some mental health issues, diagnosed with depression as a mid-teen, and likely some undiagnosed underlying issues as well.  But he refuses to get help of course.  All of these issues are made worse with the drug habit of course.  He dabbled when at school as a 15-16yo but it got considerably worse after his little sister died in the car accident almost 3 years ago. I guess also with his Dad (my brother) so physically and mentally ill himself and suicidal, things came to a head with my nephew.  But what you say ...  that sometimes they have to learn the hard way ...... is unfortunately pretty right. There comes a time where nothing you say or do will make an iota of a difference, they have to make their own mistakes.

Anyway long story short .... I think you were aware that my nephew was arrested twice, once in Dec and again over Easter?  Both for robbery, drug possession, driving under influence of drugs, unlicenced firearms possession, possession of drug paraphanalia, etc.  After spending Easter in jail, he was given the option of remaining in jail, or going to a 3 month rehab facility.

That was about 2 months ago now.  After 5 weeks in, they get to go home for a weekend.  That was  2 weeks ago.  Unfortunately his girlfriend, who is also his drug supplier and influencer, turned up and took him away from their farm, and fed him more drugs. As my nephew is essentially under house arrest and only let out of rehab for 2 nights under direct care of his parents, he could have been arrested and sent straight to jail if caught out and about. So it was not a very successful weekend.  But at least he went back afterwards.  This weekend he was permitted home again.  This time it was much more successful.  The rehab facility has stressed to him again that he must be in the care of either one of his parents while ever he is not in the rehab place, otherwise he will go to jail if caught.  I think the message has gotten through.  It is a pretty powerful incentive to try to reform, to know that jail is the alternative.  The 5 nights he spent in jail over Easter was a real eye opener for him.

I rang them and spoke to all of them earlier today, including my nephew. They would be making the 2.5 hour trek back to the rehab facility about now.  He needs to be back in by 6pm.  You asked how they are all going.  Improving I think.  I remain hopeful for the young fellow that he can turn his life around.  Do the right thing.  But it is a major concern that he is still so vulnerable to this girlfriend of his, a majorly bad influence on him.  I think if not for her, he's got a chance in life.  He will still need to front up to court once he comes out of rehab which will be a little over a month away.  But given that he has shown a willingness to try to reform himself by willingly attending rehab, its likely that he will avoid a jail term.

Hmm, I fear I have waffled a little.  Hope all that makes some sense? Gotta go make dinner now.  Will check back later.

Sherry