I am struggling at the moment

[Teej]

Beautiful image @Faith-and-Hope.

@Sans911 I’m so sorry I put you through so much 😢.

cheers for the support @outlander.

I think I am going to take a step away from the forum for a little while (unknown what little is.....maybe a few days, maybe less, maybe more). 

Its fair to say I’ve been hit pretty hard lately with stuff. Yesterday losing my cc without so much as a goodbye has been strange. 

Im really lost as what to say in this post except to say thank you for all your kindness and support. I am ok and going out with family tonight. 

Love and hugs to you all 💜🤗

[outlander]

oh dear @Teej i do understand stepping away but please please dont stay away too long or hesitiate in asking for help. that is what the forums are for..

Hugs and hugs, youve come to mean so much to me and i treasure our friendship too.

[outlander]

@Teej

[Faith-and-Hope]

💜💐🌷💕💐💜🌷💕💐💜 @Teej .....

[Teej]

I know I don’t deserve any support but I’m struggling to find hope at the moment. I don’t know what to write except I need reasons to stay alive just now and they can’t be my kids. I need something for me. The more successful my kids are the harder it is to justify me living. 

[outlander]

Here for you @Teej
You dont have to have alot of words and of course you deserve support.

[Teej]

I truly don’t deserve support @outlander. I’ve changed so much I can’t recognise myself. I am so scared and so ashamed that I’ve been dropped from cmh as being a lost cause. I know I am, it’s 

the right thing for them to do but it’s sent my si through the roof. I don’t know how to face anything. I had some strange hope a couple of weeks ago and it’s all gone now. 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Teej,

I know that it's not an easy time right now. Hang tight. You are a valuable human with so much to offer. You are also very brave and we have all seen you hit these dark pockets before, and pull through them with courage and grace. What helps you at times like these?

Do you feel up to visiting the feast for a bit, to try and take your mind off things?

[outlander]

Oh @Teej no, your not a lost cause. Not to me and not to many others here too. Offline can really really suck sometimes. It is so hard to loose all that hope so i can understand having such high si and lots of other big emotions and thoughts too.
Its ok to be scared but your really not a lost cause just havent found the right path yet

[Teej]

I need a reason to follow my safety plan @Former-Member. I am too far gone to be able to feast. I can’t see the point of being here anymore. I just drag everyone down. I’ve been here nearly three years and haven’t come far, have become so selfish and self centred and can’t find anything to like about me just now. I used to be someone different. I feel threadbare and like I can’t stitch everything together to make a human being worth living just now. The kids have gone away as has my best friend and I don’t know why I should stay safe this weekend.