@outlander
Dealing with home life
My 'home' life experience that I can draw on here would be my 'housing mess'. It's an expensive house with big maintenance issues, in a dodgy neighbourhood owned by an explosive and intimidating person who's been threatening and verbally abusive. Not the same situation, but perhaps similar options for approaching it.
1. Solve the problem. For months this has been the way I've tried to approach it. I've looked at moving (I've tried every single thing I can think of to get us out of here). I've tried to work it out with all involved by using my talking skills, lodging complaints, negotiating etc. It hasn't worked and it has completely exhausted me to try. I gave up on this option (for now) one week ago.
2. Feel better about the problem. This is a choice I am making at the moment. I look for the good (positives) - having a house is one and the school is another. There is an awesome bike path here so my bike will get serviced asap and the fish and I will go for rides together (exercise is good too). I can put sticky hooks on the walls (seeing as they're dodgy) and photos up. I spend time in the back of the house in the afternoon because it looks out on the backyard and the sun shines in - it's really pretty. There are delicious spring rolls just around the corner too and I really like saying hi to the people who own the local supermarket. The birds make my mornings happy. And the garden - it is sensational. I have flowers in pots that are constantly catching my eye, the LF are playing outside more as the weather improves, and I spend lots of time in the garden (fresh air also). I'm taking full advantage of the vegetable patch (healthy food - another tick there). I took these photos only this afternoon to show you - sneak peek of one of the edges of the vegetable garden in there 😉
3. Tolerate the problem. This is also a choice I am making. I know there will be times this is going to hugely suck and there will be times when this really hurts me a lot. There won't be any solving or any feeling better available to me then. When that happens I have plans - self-care/self-soothing and crisis survival stuff. These plans inlcude things like a pink fluffy blanket, playlists of mood matching music and headphones, a pinterest venting board, a set of crochet hooks, a nest on my phone, a pocket full of pocket crew, a box of white wings triple chocolate muffin mix for midnight can't-sit-still-must-move-now baking, an entertaining Noodle cat and a snobby but incredibly loving Mouse cat, three big reasons to keep on keeping on (LF), a list of helpful contacts to call upon, and a break place if it comes to it (as examples)
4. Stay miserable. An option too, but not for me.
I also have the belief that nothing can ever always stay exactly the same and that things can and do change. This is not forever, even though sometimes it might feel like it is.
Options within options outlander. I like options, they help me feel less stuck 🙂
im trying to work with what i have, i just have to learn to do so. its harder than it looks, but i know everyone has their own issues to work with so can sympathise. 