I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @outlander,

I am working at not being in Forum Land over the weekend so this is a super quick flyby to say happy birthday for yesterday. I can hear that the family gathering wasn't perfect, but it sounds like it wasn't so bad either. I think those sorts of situations can be tricky and it's probably a case of the grass always looking greener on the other side of the fence. As you probably recall, I super struggled with the fact that I had absolutely no one here in the real world to celebrate my 40th birthday with. Thus to me, the idea of having family who would bother to come and visit for a birthday sounds amazing. At the same time, I totally get how hard family gatherings can be and I can imagine some people feeling envious of the fact that I was alone on my 40th birthday and thus free to spend it in the way that I chose. Anyway, I hope you are able to have a peaceful post-birthday day today.

[outlander]

Hi little turtle thank you for the birthday wishes. It went ok but im not ok today. Had a rough night full of nightmares which has now brought out the paranoia 😞
But thank you i did have a good day yesterday 🙂
@Phoenix_Rising ❤

[outlander]

@Former-Member thats ok. I hope you managed some sleep.
I hope things fall into place for you soon. I understand the hopelessness. Im pretty sure my pops going to get dimentia too. Im already noticing the signs.

[outlander]

Anyone around atm

[Former-Member]

@outlanderi am around

[outlander]

Im so overwhelmed and i cant think straight .
I just want to hide and never come back out becausr what i did was wrong and i shouldnt have done it and i should be punished

[Former-Member]

@outlanderwhat has hapened?

[outlander]

I should be punished @Former-Member its my fault

[Former-Member]

What is ?
R u safe?

[outlander]

Its my fault. Im a monster. How can anyone love a monster