I dont know how much longer i can go on like this

[outlander]

Why is trusting so hard 😞

Now im going to have to avoid the farmhand job as they have their horses at my work 😞

[outlander]

I was hesitant to come back here after what happened today. I lost my faith in everything including those that are here. I do trust people here though so i want to be here. You are about the only people who actually care

[Former-Member]

Ok @outlander you do not need to quit your job

Are you really going to let a person with an uneducated view of you (that is wrong by the way) dictate where you work? I don't think so.

Hold you head up high because you are worth it, you are special and you are Super Woman sis.

Do not let people dictate your life. It is YOUR life!!!

P.S. I have faith in you ❤💜❤💜

[outlander]

I want to respond here but i cant. I cant get the words out 😞

Its making me feel like i dont deserve to live. Im only trying to help. Maybe my care is just not good enough it seems everyone think i need a new job and to get a life and that no one can help me

[Former-Member]

ok sis @outlander if you can't respond thats ok. We can just sit here together. Are you on your bed? Just imagine we are all around you. Remember the Rose between the two thorns! We can sit and be there with you.

[outlander]

Yeah im in bed now. Fans on but i also have a sheet over the top of me. Silly yea but it works for me atm.
@Former-Member im too tired to fight this anymore

[Former-Member]

@outlandernot silly at all, I have the sheet pulled up and fan on too. I hate my face being hot!

You have had a huge day hun. Can you get to sleep? I can sit here with you

[Owlunar]

I'm going off line @outlander but for a time I will be watching over

It is really sad to think that a person who is ignorant of your life and it's circumstances has taken so much from you - but here's something to hold on to

We are still here with you - and can you hurt us - no - I don't think so - we would not be here caring so much if this was the case

And as for no one being able to help you - well - in many ways this is true - and I have had that said to me in the past

You are in such a position that you do need some help and so far that hasn't been forthcoming but that time will come - and we can talk about this - 

But don't give up - walk out with your back straight and your head up - care for your Pop and care for your horses - care for your sisters

Who have you hurt? No one - not any one at all

I will be around - I am not going anywhere - tonight I have not been able to say anything until now - and now I am saying that

You haven't hurt anyone

We are still here for you

And you do have two jobs and unpaid work and YOU HAVE A LIFE

Goodnight - you are a little battler - you sure are

Granma Dec

I will be watching - my phone is really handy

[Sans911]

@outlander I've just seen this thread here. I'm sorry your pysch said she couldn't help you. That's really hurtful. And I'm not going to add about the other stuff, as everyone else has said what I would say. You are enough. You deserve to live a life just as much as anyone else. You matter more than you know. Find your strength inside you and keep going. It's worth it. Hugs and hugs

[utopia]

@outlander. Just saw this post. Sorry you are having such a tough time at the moment.

Just to say, as  others have already said, you do have a job. You have 2 jobs. They may not be jobs that someone else would do. But they are your jobs. Others wouldn't have done my old jobs, but they were mine. And to boot, these jobs bring you joy. Looking after your pop and the horses. That is the sort of work you like. you like the caring roles. Hence while  you study nursing courses. You are caring. You choose caring jobs.

Try and ignore what idiots say. Everyone has an opinion. Not all of them are right. Not all of them you should listen to.

Continue your caring work.

Am here for you.