I highly doubt your family see it that way @Bow. Besides, you could also look at it like, your family ruin this special occasion by not providing care and reassurance for you at a time when you're extra vulnerable, and just expecting you to be able to suppress all your feelings and go along 'business-as-usual'.
I don't necessarily think that, I'm just trying to point out that situations like these are complex, life is complex, and your narrative may not be the most accurate one. Do you have the kind of relationship with your brother where you could open up to him more about it, let him know why it's so hard for you? Perhaps you could even make an agreement or something where the two of you do something special for his birthday at a different time of year.
